The new year is upon us, and it’s time to make a plan for keeping all those resolutions! Whether your plan was to eat better, read more, quit a bad habit or pursue a professional goal, a surefire…
Tag: Featured Post
Officials ask Pope to stop ending sermons with community announcements from Vatican bulletin
VATICAN CITY – Officials representing the Holy See have reportedly issued a formal request that Pope Francis cease ending his sermons from the balcony of St. Peter’s Basilica with local announcem…
Trump terrified to learn GI Joe action figures he talks to actual generals
WASHINGTON, DC – President Donald Trump has expressed abject horror on discovering that the small GI Joe figures he plays with are actually high-ranking U.S. officials with the authority to imple…
Trump crosses ‘start WWIII’ off his New Year’s Resolutions list
WASHINGTON D.C. – Right after ordering the assassination of Iran’s General Suleimani a satisfied Donald Trump sat back and took a pleasant moment to cross off ‘start WWIII’ from his 2020 Ne…
Office holiday party finally gives co-workers chance to spend more time together
Markham, ON – a local office’s annual holiday party has given employees exactly what they’ve always wanted: the chance to spend more time surrounded by their co-workers. “Oh man finally,” s…
Justin Trudeau orders Santa Claus to avoid Saskatchewan and Alberta
OTTAWA – Still angry over the election results and their threats to separate, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has ordered Santa Claus not to drop off any presents to families living in Saskat…
Conservative Party demands knowledge back from Scheer’s kids
OTTAWA – The Conservative Party has announced that following Andrew Scheer’s resignation as party leader, they will also be expecting to recoup the knowledge his kids acquired while attendi…
Update: white journalists still not seeing the irony of demanding Wilson-Raybould give office back
OTTAWA – a survey of the dozens of white mainstream media journalists currently writing angry editorials about Jody Wilson Raybould refusing to vacate an office that does not belong to her …
Kawhi celebrates return to Toronto by visiting his favourite H&R Block
TORONTO – Several months after leading the Raptors to their first NBA title Kawhi Leonard has returned to Toronto, so naturally has marked his return to the city by spending the afternoon a…
Uncle launches full-scale investigation into where vegan nephew gets their protein
Peterborough, ON – Local uncle Jim Layton has begun a wide-ranging investigation after his nephew, Skylar Layton, has revealed he has been a vegan for two years yet is still able to live. “…
