Canada opts for pull-out method instead of environmental protection
OTTAWA – After withdrawing from a UN anti-drought convention late last month, the Harper government announced today that it will rely on the pull-out method as its default policy for future envir…
45 minutes into brunch, engaged couple still talking about their seating chart
CALGARY – Nearly an hour into their meal at Cassis Bistro, sources were reporting that engaged couple Matt Saracen and Julie Taylor were still sorting out the details of who would sit where…
I’m pretty sure I would be in this exact same position even if Pierre Trudeau wasn’t my dad
By Justin Trudeau In the wake of my recent election as leader of the Liberal Party of Canada, I’ve noticed that one or two media outlets have suggested that my success may somehow be related to m…
The Junos happened, sources report
OTTAWA- A Canadian awards show that honours musical achievements by Canadian artists and bands recently occurred, according to a number of sources. “Yep, that was this month, I think,” one source…
Local man disappointed ‘Medieval Times’ nothing like ‘Game of Thrones’
TORONTO – After an evening at the family dinner theatre ‘Medieval Times’, local ‘Game of Thrones’ aficionado and self-proclaimed medievalist David Brock departed in deep disappointment. “Wh…
Supreme Court of Canada Justice Morris Fish is retiring
Known as a staunch defender of civil liberties, Supreme Court of Canada Justice Morris Fish announced his retirement earlier this week. What’s your say? “I hope he receives a giant no…
RCMP to FBI following terrorist bust: ‘Whose hats look stupid now?’
TORONTO – Following yesterday’s arrest of two individuals accused of plotting a terrorist attack on a VIA rail train, officers of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police were quick to point out t…
UPDATE: Nation just wants spring to fucking happen
OTTAWA – Following a series of weeks with mixing of nice weather and cold weather, Canadians from all cities and provinces have gotten tired of this windy cold shit, and just want spring to…
Maple Leafs on brink of first round playoff elimination
TORONTO – The Toronto Maple Leafs, currently 3rd in the North East Division, are looking to clinch a first round playoff elimination position tonight. Thanks to their success in the regular…
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