HALIFAX – Following a stretch of above-average ocean temperatures and earlier-than-usual storm formation, meteorologists at Canada’s national weather service have officially updated the hurrican...
Free speech champions explain why it’s OK that people are being cancelled for criticizing Israel
As academics, celebrities and politicians face backlash and loss of work for condemning Israel’s bombing of the Gaza strip and treatment of Palestinians in general, we asked a number of people w...
Teacher struggling to indoctrinate child who never pays attention
REGINA, SK – Local school teacher Max Hammond is concerned that if one of his students doesn’t start focusing more in class, they will miss out on being forcibly led to adopt a more left-wing vi...
Threesome rescheduled again
EDMONTON – Following yet another scheduling conflict, local couple Gregory and Alexia Carter have once again had to postpone their threesome with mutual friend Taylor Long. “We’ve been trying to make ...
Childless Millennial couple announces plans to get really into Halloween this year
BARRIE, ON – Tyler and Sarah Kergin, a happily childless local couple, has always enjoyed Halloween. But yesterday they told reporters that they plan to “pull out like ALL the stops” this Octobe...
Luxury porta-potty includes chemical bidet
CALGARY — Patrons at the Calgary Philharmonic Orchestra’s “Symphony by the River” were delighted to discover the onsite porta-potties included an opulent new feature: chemical bidets. “Our concerts dr...
Desperate Quebec City officials offer Bettman one night of unbridled passion with Bonhomme
QUEBEC CITY – Officials in Quebec City have decided to up the ante in their pursuit for a return of pro-hockey to their community by proffering NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman an “affectionate and...
Biden suggests Hamas and Israeli government hash things out over a plate of ribs
TEL AVIV – During an overseas visit aimed at quelling recent violence between the State of Israel and Hamas, President Joe Biden has suggested bringing the two sides together over a meal of barb...
Read the ‘Save The Children’ Convoy’s list of demands
From the makers of the ‘federal government must get rid of the covid restrictions put in place by the provincial governments’ convoy comes a new convoy currently camped out in Ottawa. It&#...
Conservatives announce new campaign slogan: “You Think You’re Better Than Me?!”
OTTAWA – The Conservative Party of Canada announced its campaign slogan for the next election will be “You think you’re better than me?!” “Nothing encapsulates the curren...
