Kilometres wide power outage in downtown Calgary affects dozens
CALGARY – An electrical fire in the power grid plunged dozens of blocks in the heart of Calgary into total darkness over the weekend, causing significant inconvenience and uncertainty for t…
Dog suspiciously upbeat at owner’s funeral
BARRIE- Friends and family of recently deceased Toronto resident Alan March have reported that his pet labrador retriever Buddy seemed strangely cheerful at March’s funeral two days ago. “I expec…
University freshman looking forward to seeing family, dumping Jenny for Thanksgiving
OTTAWA – First year Carleton University business student Michael Fairburn is excited to return to his hometown of Barrie to see his family for Thanksgiving and to break the heart of his hig…
Acadia University: The Beaverton University Reviews
Name: Acadia University Nickname: Itsy-Bitsy Teeny-Weeny Yellow Polka-Dot University Motto: “Please do not force us leave our homes” (In use since the 1700s) History: Acadia University was found…
5 Thanksgiving recipes guaranteed to make you forget your disintegrating family
1) Five boxes of wine If you want to take a traditional route, don’t bother with carbs or industrial chemicals, and enjoy the elegant simplicity that is five boxes (or about 120 cups) of w…
Harper to accept Syrian refugees who can prove no ties to Middle East
OTTAWA – At a press conference today, the Prime Minister announced plans to begin fast-tracking refugee applications from any and all Syrian refugees who can prove they’ve never visited the…
Awareness campaign successfully increases awareness
TORONTO – A month-long awareness raising campaign reached its goal of spreading awareness this morning. “Thanks to all our amazing sponsors, staff and incredible volunteers, our ‘Hope for T…
Thank you mom and dad for letting me follow your version of my dream
By Alexander Botschinsky Today I want to thank you Mom and Dad, for the support you’ve given me throughout my life, and for letting me follow all of my dreams, goals and passions in a way that c…
White cop shoots black cop, claims victim was armed
KANSAS CITY – In yet another example of police violence against young black males, K.C. Police Officer Rodney Winthrop shot and killed 28 year old African American Jimmy Sinclair on Sunday …
World’s major deities mutually agree to give up on humans and try luck with different species
THE HEAVENS – The world’s major religious deities have mutually agreed to give up on human beings and start fresh with a new species. Citing current international atrocities and a long hist…
