CALGARY – Paul Leslie, a self-described concerned citizen, has claimed that he doesn’t understand how the government justifies the cost of bringing in Syrian refugees when Canada has spent almost no money to solve the nation’s Rubix Cubes.
“We have to deal with the problems at home before we can even think of resettling all those people,” said Leslie. “98% of all Rubix Cubes purchased in Canada remain unsolved and yet the media hasn’t reported on this issue since the 1980s.”
Leslie says he’s sick of the Liberal government allocating resources to one problem when there are other problems that he believes are equally time-sensitive.
“I don’t have anything against refugees,” explained Leslie. “I just think we really need to focus on why, even though all the orange squares are lined up, the red and green squares are still all mixed together!”
Leslie is not alone. Many Canadians have spontaneously come out against the proposed 25,000 Syrian refugees. Most point to domestic issues – such as incomplete sudokus, crosswords, and those little 3-D metal puzzles that you need to take apart – that they believe have been ignored for far too long.
“Everyday on my way to work I walk past the sad, scattered 1000 piece jigsaw on my coffee table,” said protester Ellen Farnsworth, 60, at a rally in Ottawa. “When is the government going to stop letting down our nation’s puzzles?”
At press time, many were concerned that Syrian refugees could smuggle their own unsolved Rubix Cubes into the country.
