Syria – Earlier this morning newly appointed ISIS leader Abu Ibrahim al-Hashimi al-Qurayshi was at a loss for which tie to wear on his first day, reportedly standing in front of the mirror …
Tag: Syria
John Bolton asks Mueller to indict Trump already so he can start a war
WASHINGTON, DC – Newly-appointed US National Security Advisor John Bolton has contacted the office of Special Counsel Robert Mueller, demanding charges be levelled against Donald Trump already so…
Trump eager to turn away Syrian refugees he’s currently creating
WASHINGTON — After calling for airstrikes on three government sites in Syria, President Trump is reportedly most excited about the prospect of denying refugee status to the untold Syrian ci…
Young Syrian girl signs seven-figure advance for posthumous diary
Palmyra, Syria – Nilu Muhammed, a 12-year-old living in war-torn Syria, has garnered a multi-million dollar advance for a diary she keeps hidden under the rubble she sleeps on. “An advance …
Aleppo residents just feel super bad your favourite celebrities died in 2016
ALEPPO, SYRIA – Residents of the war-torn city of Aleppo in Syria, who have this past year become the victims of further atrocities in the form of random civilian executions, are strongly e…
BREAKING: Standing Rock protesters win anti-pipeline victory, ruining 2016’s perfect misery streak
STANDING ROCK, ND — The Army Corp of Engineers has announced they will deny permits for the Dakota Access Pipeline, representing a victory for the Standing Rock protesters and a lone bright…
Brad Wall demands to know how Syrian refugees are causing Saskatchewan’s HIV crisis
REGINA – Saskatchewan Premier Brad Wall is taking decisive action to address his province’s HIV crisis by demanding the federal government explain how the Syrian refugees are to blame for t…
World just going to take a nap until the bad stuff goes away
EARTH – The entire population of the planet has announced this week that it intends to simply lie down for a little nap until all the evil, violent, and hate-filled things that occur daily disapp…
Generous Trudeau gives each Syrian refugee one free topless pic
OTTAWA – With just over 25,000 Syrian refugees having been allowed into the country, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has enacted an even more generous policy by offering each and every one of…
Ezra Levant exposes Syrian refugee plot to help victims of Ft. McMurray fire
CALGARY – Right-wing pundit Ezra Levant says he has detailed evidence of a coordinated plot by Syrian refugees living across Canada. The RebelTV founder published dozens of tweets, written in Ar…