Air Canada admits it dropped the bag on luggage handling
SAINT-LAURENT, QC – Air Canada responded to a video of its passengers’ carry-on bags being tossed off the end of a jetway by admitting on Tuesday that they had dropped the bag on luggage ha…
Montreal police ready for Habs victory by pouring gasoline on cars
MONTREAL – In anticipation of a Canadiens victory against the Tampa Bay Lightning tonight, Montreal Police are preparing for an onslaught of overzealous and violent fans by dumping gasoline…
Report: Girlfriend still crying
A new report from behind the bathroom door has confirmed that yes, your girlfriend is still crying because of that thing you know you said and no, she won’t be stopping anytime soon. Confidential…
Christians celebrate sacred resurrection of church attendance
PORT COLBORNE, ON – Millions of Christians across the world from all sects are celebrating the miraculous resurrection of church attendance today. Pews were packed with the reluctant faithf…
Local woman walks to gym to walk on treadmill
HAMILTON – A 55 year-old local woman has been taking regular outdoor walks to the gym so she can walk on a treadmill. Margaret Antonin strolls nearly two kilometers to her local GoodLife gy…
Exasperated taxidermist gives up, says he’ll have a look at your tax return
MONTREAL – Tired of explaining what he actually does for a living, exasperated taxidermist Steve Fleischer says fine, he’ll have a look at your tax returns. “I give up,” sighs the 42 year-old. “A…
Worried man had that dream about sexy green M&M again
BRIDGEWATER, NH — After a few consecutive nights of uninterrupted sleep, local man Richard McDowell recently expressed alarm after he once again had that dream about the seductive Miss Green M&am…
Report: sleeping woman on subway has been dead for 3 weeks
TORONTO – Reports from those seated around her have confirmed that the women on the subway who all assumed to have been sleeping, is in fact dead, and has been for some time. “I first start…
Asian rights groups satisfied with invasive species name change from “Asian Carp” to “Mexican Carp”
WASHINGTON – US Asian rights groups are pleased to hear the Department of Natural Resources has decided to change the name of an invasive carp species from “Asian Carp” to “Mexican Carp”. N…
