In historic first, superhero saves day without fatalities, extensive city damage
EDMONTON – This month marks the first time in Canadian superhero history that a city has been saved without extensive damage to property, any injuries or fatalities. On October 16th, a supe…
NDP claim Liberals stole their idea to form majority government
OTTAWA — NDP leader Thomas Mulcair has blasted the incoming Liberal government for stealing his party’s idea to form a strong majority government. “The Liberals have always had a history of…
Sun newspapers still reporting Harper majority
Despite the results being posted two days ago, Sun newspaper outlets have steadfastly denied the existence of a Liberal majority government and have continued to assume Conservative leader Stephe…
Tearful Stephen Harper boards spaceship for return to home planet
CALGARY – Following Stephen Harper’s emotional concession speech Monday night, hundreds of Conservative Party supporters claimed to have seen a massive blue object launching from Harp…
Nation groggily wakes up next to Justin Trudeau
CANADA – After a ‘wild night’, where emotions and alcohol ‘may have gotten a little out of hand’, the nation has woken up with a splitting headache, next to Justin Trudeau. “Ohh boy,” said …
Minister of Aboriginal Affairs has seat taken from him, finally learns something about being Aboriginal
MADAWASKA-RESTIGOUCHE, N.B. – After having his riding ripped from his hands, his livelihood destroyed, and his power stolen, Bernard Valcourt, the outgoing Minister of Aboriginal Affairs, h…
90-year-old who has never voted proudly casts first ballot for Social Credit party
WINNIPEG – For the first time in his long life, habitual abstainer Jack Pilman will cast a ballot in a Canadian election, throwing his support behind the Social Credit party. “Normally I ju…
Conservatives unveil last minute attack ad accusing Justin of supporting Kansas City
TORONTO – In a last minute gamble for GTA seats, the Conservative Party unveiled a new attack ad over the weekend suggesting Liberal leader Justin Trudeau wanted the Kansas City Royals to d…
Die hard Conservative changes vote after being called “Asshole” on Facebook
MEDICINE HAT, AB – Local welder and Tory supporter Greg Rashovich has abruptly decided to switch his vote to the NDP party after being called an “asshole” on Facebook via status updates, bl…
Anthropologists radiocarbon date current Conservative platform to 18th century
LONDON, ON — A group of scientists from the University of Western Ontario have successfully radiocarbon dated the Conservative Party’s platform ideas and policies to sometime around the 178…
