TORONTO – Cliffdale High ‘09 alum Jim Smith has repeatedly whiffed attempts to write and publish a correct Facebook take about the devastating conflict in the Middle East at least five times now...
The 9 people that own all of Toronto’s real estate extremely upset about property tax hike
TORONTO – Reacting to news of Toronto Mayor Olivia Chow’s plan to hike property taxes by more than 10%, the 9 or so people that collectively own all Toronto real estate expressed outrage, saying...
Man with dedicated folder for ‘back of the head’ selfies definitely not balding
KINGSTON, ON – Local man Mitch Thompson insists that his meticulously curated collection of back-of-the-head selfies has, in fact, nothing to do with any alleged thinning around the crown area o...
Fake hockey fan able to enjoy his team signing good players without conducting armchair salary cap analysis
TORONTO – After his team signed one of their best players to a long term contract extension, casual fan Matt Christenson celebrated without even performing his own detailed analysis of how this ...
Five people you hope are not on the Epstein list
NEW YORK CITY – Court documents from Ghislaine Maxwell’s case have been unsealed and reporters are poring through them to see who among the rich and famous will be revealed to have consorted wit...
“Yeah, someone SHOULD do something about housing unaffordability” says Trudeau watching Poilievre video
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has reported feeling indignantly outraged that “nobody in power is doing anything” to combat housing unaffordability after watching a recent Po...
New Chappelle special searing hourlong takedown of trans cashier who forgot to smile at him
HOLLYWOOD – Fresh off the release of his controversial Netflix stand-up special The Dreamer, legendary comedian Dave Chappelle has dropped another hourlong special entirely devoted to a lone tim...
Pierre Poilievre describes more jobs
After Pierre Poilievre described an electrician as someone who “captures lightning from the sky and runs it through a copper wire to illuminate this room and light up the world” we sat dow...
EDITORIAL: Without more funding, how can CBC support original Canadian executive bonuses?
By CBC President Catherine Tait As the CBC is faced with yet another round of unfair budget cuts resulting in the unavoidable layoffs of more than 600 employees, it is clear what is at risk: CBC execu...
Tinder guy concerned after photo of woman reveals she has physical body
Tinder, iPhone – Local Tinder user Mack Smith has reconsidered messaging a woman on Tinder after seeing concerning photos hinting that she might occupy physical space. “I saw the name ‘Veronica’...
