In exciting news for fans of Ben Affleck, he has been tapped to play Mao Zedong, founder of the People’s Republic of China, in an upcoming biopic. “I couldn’t be more excited” ...
Scientists confirm we could just, like, be kind and love each other
MONTREAL – Scientists at McGill University have proven, using psychological studies, genetic research, and MRIs, that human beings could easily just take a chill pill and be generous to all huma...
Beaverton Russian Times
“Question questioning”...
Revolutionary new management book uses metaphor to explain management
VANCOUVER – Business luminaries the world over have been heaping praise on a new book entitled A Zebra on the Ladder, which is the first ever volume to teach managerial skills and philosophy thr...
Tories to support anti-racism motion if ‘Muslims’ are defined as ‘Jews’, ‘Christians’
OTTAWA – Certain members of the Conservative caucus said they would be willing to support the motion condemning Islamophobia so long as ‘Muslims’ are defined as ‘Jews’, ‘Christians’, or any othe...
Thing happens that we do not understand even remotely
THE INTERNET, PROBABLY – Swedish YouTube celebrity PewDiePie was disavowed by Disney and YouTube over anti-Semitic viral video content this week, in a story that we can not even begin to pretend...
Progressive company introduces unisex boardrooms
MONTREAL – In an effort to promote inclusivity within their company, mutual fund giant QPM Investments has announced a bold new plan to introduce unisex boardrooms. “In 2017, having separate council c...
Editorial: Have you tried the healing powers of crystals? – by your coworker Julie
BY: YOUR COWORKER JULIE Greetings all, I know many of you made New Year’s Resolutions to get healthy – good for you! Such a brave step. I am proud of you! With so much misinformation about fad diets a...
Guide To: Montreal
“Montreal is the capital of Quebec…probably.”...
Science Minister discovers parliamentary interns solve maze 20% faster after Serum injection
OTTAWA – In a major discovery, Science Minister Kirsty Duncan has found that Parliamentary Pages solve her mazes an average of 20% faster, after a course of Serum injections. “On the left, you’l...
