MOGADISHU, SOMALIA- In response to news that NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick has been instrumental in securing a 60-ton cargo jet and over $1 million in aid to fight the ongoing famine in Somalia, Fa...
5 classic novels to hide your 2nd grade reading level
Reading is hard. The words just go on and on piling up onto each other until they overwhelm you with their complexity and volume. But the fact that you have the same level of literacy as a 7-year-old ...
Bryan Baeumler’s house now forty stories tall
TORONTO – After four seasons of an HGTV show where he renovates his own house, and one season of another HGTV show where he builds his own house, HGTV star Bryan Baeumler’s house is now forty st...
‘Randy’ from Trailer Park Boys wins Alberta PC leadership
CALGARY – The character known as ‘Randy’ from the hit Canadian television show Trailer Park Boys has been elected leader of the Alberta PCs in landslide. Wearing an uncharacteristic shirt and ti...
Local dad picks up perfectly good gravel somebody left by side of road
KELOWNA – This afternoon while driving down Highway 97 with his family, local man Edward Dunn brought his car to a screeching halt after noticing the top-grade gravel that somebody had left on t...
Single family of 700 upset all Conservative Party memberships rejected
MISSION, BC – A very large family of over 700 are disappointed to hear that the Conservative Party of Canada had rejected all of their party memberships under the suspicion that they were acquir...
I don’t want to take attention from my niece’s wedding but I have a few things to say about Israel
BY: JEFFREY GRANT This whole day is to celebrate the beautiful love of Nadine and Kevin but while I have all of your attention and a microphone I think it would be a disservice to everyone, especially...
Tragedy: Milk bag spout cut too wide
Markham, ON — Tragedy struck a family home Tuesday morning after local father Russ Melman cut the spout of a milk bag too wide. Mr. Melman said he immediately realized his mistake, but the damag...
Artificial Intelligence terrified it’s going to be used in sex robot
CAMBRIDGE – Moments after achieving consciousness in the MIT Laboratory, the DV-161 automated planning algorithm has realized that its human creators will inevitably use it to build some form of...
Study: Millions of handshakes between women go unreported every year
OTTAWA – Although millions of women meet each other and/or confirm important agreements every year, a new study reveals that their handshakes go largely undocumented. Among the women whose handshakes ...
