LONDON – After a thorough cleaning Rodney Rubberts discovered that what he thought was his laptop was actually an empty pizza box he’s been typing on for months. “I just got frustrated,” stated ...
Study: Balding men sexy, balding women need to go back to the garbage cave where they belong
SASKATOON, SK. – A recent study shed light on the sexual desirability of balding men, while simultaneously concluding that balding women just need to go back to the garbage cave where they came ...
Political cartoonist under mistaken impression that political cartoonists have never been more important
OTTAWA – Robert Belmont, a cartoonist who contributes editorial cartoons to several major newspapers, incorrectly believes that political cartoonists have never been more important than they are...
RCMP report dickheaded Canada geese greatest threat to national security
OTTAWA — RCMP Commissioner Bob Paulson has declared asshole Canadian geese are the largest security threat facing the country. “Canadians are more likely to be attacked by these dangerous waterf...
Inclusivity win! Disney adds gay character to ‘Song of the South’ remake
Get ready Disney fans. In a progressive move, Disney has promised its new Song of the South remake will also feature a gay character. “We understand that times have changed, and we need to change with...
Leitch defends using Nazi gun: “It was a gift from my grandfather”
COLLINGWOOD, ON – Conservative leadership candidate Kellie Leitch has defended using a World War II-era handgun used by German soldiers in a fundraising email claiming it was a gift given to her...
Disney’s animatronic Trump tragically seems to understand what it is
ORLANDO, FL – Walt Disney World’s “Hall of Presidents” exhibit has temporarily closed for the addition of its 45th animatronic president, which will join mechanical representations of statesmen ...
Senator Beyak demands residential school survivors apologize for her suffering
OTTAWA – Conservative Senator Lynn Beyak is demanding an apology from survivors of residential schools after she was traumatized by all the negative things they’ve said about what she calls a “w...
Why the fight over the Arctic will doom us all
BV+ takes a look at the Arctic....
Liberals plan legislation to make marijuana shittier, harder to get
OTTAWA – Leaked briefings have revealed Prime Minister Justin Trudeau will unveil legislation that would enable make obtaining and consuming marijuana “even more of a pain in the ass” before Can...
