EDMONTON – Edmontonian Jason Porter, who’s spent another evening shouting outraged profanities at his TV amid a growing pile of Alberta Genuine Draft empties, was excited to discover an Oilers g...
House of Commons takes action to ensure foreign state interference stops getting in way of domestic corporate interference
OTTAWA – The House of Commons has voted unanimously for a bill that will crack down on the ability of foreign states to influence federal politicians who rightfully owe their allegiance to Canad...
Oilers fans not sure what’s worse: losing Cup or realizing Leafs fans were right about how good Atlantic Division is
EDMONTON – Down 3-0 to the Florida Panthers, Edmonton Oilers fans report they don’t know what is making them feel worse: the possibility of being swept out of the Stanley Cup Finals, or th...
Elon Musk assures users that hiding “likes” on X has nothing to do with the weird porn he likes, only election interference
SAN FRANCISCO – After X, formerly Twitter, announced yesterday that “likes” would now be privatized and hidden, owner Elon Musk assured users that the move had nothing to do with all the freaky ...
Forest Hill by-election to show Canada what people without problems think
Toronto – In a democratic exercise set to take place later this month, voters in Toronto-St Pauls, centered around one of Canada’s wealthiest neighbourhoods in Forest Hill, will elect a new MP to voic...
Jeopardy brings back worst performing contestants for “Tournament of Dolts”
CULVER CITY, CA — Producers of the popular game show Jeopardy! announced that this year they’ll air their inaugural “Tournament of Dolts.” “Our Tournament of Champions is always a ratings bonanza,” sa...
Calgarians defy calls to limit water usage by constructing 30km Slip ‘N Slide
CALGARY – In the wake of a catastrophic water main break that has led city officials to urge the public to limit water use, Calgarians have banded together to defy the request by constructing a ...
See you later! Neurodivergent friend discovers crocheting
KINGSTON, ON – Friends of Kaitlin Barr, a 27-year-old neurodivergent copy editor, have recently said their goodbyes after Barr discovered a new hobby, and hyperfixation, of crocheting. “This is ...
Oilers plan to damage Florida Panthers’ morale by forcing them to visit Edmonton
EDMONTON – With the 2024 Stanley Cup Finals fast approaching, sources close to the Edmonton Oilers have confirmed that the team has a new strategy for victory – namely, hoping the Florida ...
WestJet announces SuperUltraBasic fare where customers just stay home and give them money
CALGARY – Days after announcing an UltraBasic fare that includes no carry-on bags or seat selection, WestJet has announced a SuperUltraBasic ticket that skips the plane ride entirely. “Here at WestJe...
