Victoria, BC – Local man Liam Harris has managed to completely avoid the 2017 allergy season by using a large blade to remove his head. “Oh yeah, Liam looks great. No sniffling, no coughing, no ...
Samoa ejected after trying to sneak into G20 using fake ID
HAMBURG – In addition to rowdy protests and police action, the G20 was also forced to remove the oft-forgotten island nation of Samoa after it attempted to sneak into the conference with a fake ...
Toronto Wolfpack cruises to 90-0 rugby victory against terrified group of children
TORONTO – Continuing the breakaway success of their debut season, the Toronto Wolfpack rugby team has won a blowout victory against a group of fleeing, terrified schoolchildren who did not even ...
Government waste! This social worker gets paid over $30,000 dollars a year
Everyone knows that government is just a bloated parasite that lives off the hard work of citizens but you’ll never believe what they are doing now! Jennifer Wright, a social worker with a masters in ...
Portraits of Canadiocity: Martin Luther King Jr
Bet you didn’t know Martin Luther King Jr. was Canadian....
New Spider-Man film mostly scenes of Uncle Ben dying
HOLLYWOOD – At the world premiere of Marvel’s Spider-Man: Homecoming, fans of the franchise were treated to a new Spider-Man story, in which Uncle Ben dies a number of times in many different wa...
Montreal bachelor party ready to experience worst city has to offer
MONTREAL — The bachelor party for soon-to-be groom Stephen Keefe has touched down in Montreal and is ready to enjoy to the fullest the bars, restaurants and clubs no local would ever be caught dead in...
Khadr apology, payout is an insult to all the Canadian vets who fought for our right to torture imprisoned children
By: Andrew Scheer, Leader of the Official Opposition Today, I was outraged to hear that the Trudeau government has agreed to pay $10.5 million and issue an apology to admitted terrorist Omar Khadr. Th...
Glowing red dot still at large, warn cat detectives
TORONTO – The Metropolitan Feline Police Force is warning cats that, despite their best investigative efforts, the suspect known only as “the glowing red dot” has yet to be captured. “The glowin...
Rowing crew inspired by motivational poster of productive office workers
WATERLOO, ON – An inspirational poster portraying busy office workers titled ‘Leadership’ has been a real motivator for a local rowing team since it was posted in the team’s boat house last week...
