Melania Trump whispers encouragement to refugee family hiding in Trump Tower walls

NEW YORK CITY — Reports have confirmed that at approximately 12:03 AM eastern time, just after the last of the servants had gone to bed, First Lady Melania Trump was seen whispering gentle words …

Couple slips Iceland trip pics under your pillow in case you didn’t see them online

TORONTO – Just in case you missed their Iceland trip photos on Facebook and Instagram, local couple Seth and Alyssa have placed a selection of hard copy prints under your pillow. Their stunning a…

Yukon’s Sourdough-Rendezvous Festival to end with a traditional territory-wide power outage

WHITEHORSE – Yukon Energy has announced it will be celebrating the end of the Sourdough-Rendezvous Festival with a customary power outage event. On Sunday, the Sourdough-Rendezvous Queen is…

Guide To: The US Supreme Court Confirmation Process

  Confused by American politics? In this week’s Guide To we break down how hard it really is to get on the Supreme Court.…

Local man unable to resist pointing out how beautiful day actually a sign of climate apocalypse

TORONTO – After fighting the urge for a full thirty seconds local man Geoffrey McLeod interrupted his colleague’s conversation about what a beautiful and warm day we were having in or…

Black Lives Matter’s rhetoric too divisive says man calling Trump Hitler

TORONTO—Seated with a group of friends over brunch earlier this week, local man Tim Edwards was seen ruefully explaining how Black Lives Matter Toronto’s rhetoric has gotten too hyperbolic, espec…

Canada now best nation in world by default

CANADA – After years of top 10 finishes, Canada has finally become the best nation in the world thanks to only seeing a modest increase in fascism and regressive politics when compared to e…

School boy bullied for not wearing pink shirt today

Abbotsford, BC – Local eighth grader Liam Stroud was tormented repeatedly today at school after he was the only student who forgot to wear pink to participate in the school’s anti-bullying …

Woman at front of water fountain line filling 200-litre oil drum

Burnaby, BC – Citing the extraordinarily long line-up she had caused, patrons of a local GoodLife Fitness Center recently expressed annoyance at a woman using the location’s only water fountain t…

Man who lives in PATH willing to guide topsider to Eaton Centre, for a price

TORONTO – One of the many residents of Toronto’s underground system of pedestrian walkways, ‘the PATH’, is willing to guide topsiders through the tunnels to the Eaton Centre, in return for …