Learn EVERYTHING you need to know about the Israel-Palestine conflict in just 60 seconds

  BV+ tackles the Middle East.…

Radicalized bacterium joins antibiotic resistance

The gut of Rachel McGrath, ON – Weakened but not destroyed by a ruthless class of broad-spectrum agents, an E. Coli bacterium who inhabits Oakville resident Rachel McGrath’s gastrointestinal trac…

Report: CBC’s ‘Canada: A Story of Us’ unfairly excludes giant banana in Melita, MB

MELITA, MB – Adding to a mounting number of complaints against CBC’s historical docu-drama, the Manitoba town of Melita has criticized ‘Canada: A Story of Us’ for ignoring the history behin…

TTC Shop to sell giant sticks operators still use to move streetcar tracks

TORONTO – The TTC Shop has introduced a new item for sale: life size replicas of the large sticks operators still use to move the streetcar tracks for some reason. “We’ve done quite well se…

Coachella fans really bummed this new Trump hologram is looming over the entire festival

INDIO, CALIFORNIA – As millennials flock to this year’s Coachella festival, music fans were stunned to discover a giant hologram of President Trump. “I mean, they had a hologram with …

Christ sees shadow, predicts 6 more weeks of Easter

JERUSALEM – After spending three days sheltered in his underground tomb, Jesus Christ, Our Lord in Heaven, saw His shadow, which means six more weeks of Easter. “Here he comes, here he come…

Local strapless bra’s woman just going to slide up all night

TORONTO- Despite its best efforts to stay in place, a local strapless bra is spending its entire evening trying to keep club-goer Darla Smith from sliding out of its supportive grip. “They keep p…

Frightened Cheerio enters uncharted void between plastic bag and cereal box

UNKNOWN —  A routine voyage to The Bowl was beset by tragedy this morning, when a straggling Cheerio fell into the unmapped nether region between the plastic bag and cereal box. The oat morsel wa…

Jennifer Lawrence hopes Tommy Grant of Glendale, AZ asks her to prom

BEVERLY HILLS — A-List Hollywood actress Jennifer Lawrence is reportedly waiting for an elaborate viral promposal video from 17-year-old high school student Tommy Grant, of Glendale, Arizon…

Unhinged authoritarian son of privilege plans missile launch against same

WASHINGTON/ PYONGYANG — Reports indicate that an egomaniacal dynastic head of state with a tenuous grip on reality is planning to launch missiles at essentially the exact same person from a…