7 ways to celebrate Canada’s 150th birthday that aren’t contemplating the genocide on which it is all built

It has been 150 years since the British North American Act passed through British parliament and made three semi autonomous colonies of Britain into one semi autonomous dominion of Britain. We…

Tourists line up to offer their children to famous local sea lion

RICHMOND, BC – Hundreds of tourists at Steveston Fisherman’s Wharf offered up their small children to the famous sea lion who performed an impressive grab of a small child on Saturday…

Why can’t millennials just bring me the horn of the Mountain Beast?

Arguably no generation has been afforded as many advantages as millennials. Education, technology, and societal advances should be making it easier than ever to get ahead. So why can’t millennial…

Men’s Rights Activists question why we don’t also celebrate King Victoria

MONTREAL – Prominent men’s rights groups across the country are protesting the annual Victoria Day celebration, accusing it of unfairly favouring Queen Victoria over King Victoria. “This is a per…

Experts expect every living organism to have own podcast by 2018

HALIFAX – Scientists from Dalhousie University are predicting that by 2018 every lifeform on Earth will be hosting its own podcast, available through their website or the Apple Store. “With…

TVO announces gritty Sharon, Lois & Bram reboot

TORONTO – TVO has announced plans to launch a gritty reboot of The Elephant Show, the popular children’s program that made Sharon, Lois & Bram household names in the late 80s. In …

Pickle Barrel still most popular restaurant with people who steal individually packaged jams

OTTAWA – In a new marketing campaign, chain restaurant The Pickle Barrel is appealing directly to a historically undervalued consumer base: people who steal individually packaged jams. “People wh…

Scandal-plagued senators debate shutting down the Senate opium den

OTTAWA – Following several years worth of lascivious scandals and low approval ratings, the Upper House of Parliament is strongly considering permanently closing their illicit opium den to …

Mountain Dew courts evangelical consumers with ‘What Dew would Jesus Do’ campaign

NEW YORK – In what is already being hailed as a novel and innovative attempt to reach out to America’s crucial Evangelical consumer base, PepsiCo subsidiary Mountain Dew has announced a new promo…

I ride my bike with my helmet around my handlebars in case I need to put it on just before I crash

By: Erik Schmidt The exercise, the freedom, the wind in your hair: riding your bike is one of the best things you can do, both for yourself, and for the environment. But it’s important to put saf…