Leaving early enough to beat cottage traffic making local dad so fucking wet
OAKVILLE – This morning Chet Billingsley, a local father of three, organized his family into a 5:30 a.m. departure from their home in order to avoid cottage country traffic. As a result of this s…
Johnny Depp surprises kids at local hospital dressed up as Amber Heard’s abuser
VANCOUVER – Spirits were high at the BC Children’s Hospital this week when actor Johnny Depp made a surprise appearance fully made up and in costume as the man who abused Amber Heard.…
Right-wing history buff objects to removal of Strom Thurmond’s bedbug infested mattress
Columbia, SC – A battle is brewing over the fate of a 40-year-old bedbug-ridden mattress believed to once have been slept on by deceased South Carolina Governor and Senator Strom Thurmond. …
NDP leadership race turns nasty as one candidate forgets to bring enough gluten-free cookies for everyone
OTTAWA – The NDP Leadership race took a shocking turn this week after candidate Niki Ashton brought only a dozen gluten-free cookies to Thursday’s debate, despite knowing that fellow candidate Ch…
Ezra Levant somehow tanks white supremacist website during most racist time in recent memory
TORONTO – Despite a huge increase in racism and racial violence across North America and the presence of a white supremacist in the White House, Ezra Levant has somehow managed to entirely …
Ezra Levant buys domain name therebel.com in attempt to profit from recent disaster
TORONTO – Conservative pundit Ezra Levant has reportedly purchased domain names therebel.com, therebel.net, rebelimplosion.ca, and other related titles, in an effort to profit off of the di…
How To Lose Weight
The collective knowledge of every ‘how to lose weight’ video ever made has been condensed into this.…
We ranked the summer’s top five movies with Minions in them
It’s no secret, The Minions are getting a lot of work in Hollywood these days. But with so many movies featuring these little yellow dudes, it can be hard to choose which movie featuring The Mini…
Traitors: moderate Republicans just voted against letting the President use The Machine
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Once again blocking the President’s plans to Make America Great Again, moderate Republicans in Congress and the Senate are refusing to vote in favour of allowing Donald J…
Controversy erupts after HBO Canada announces alternate history series where French won Seven Years War
OTTAWA – HBO Canada has come under fire after announcing a new series, “QUEBECADA” that depicts an alternate history where the British were defeated by French forces during the Seven Years War. “…
