G7 Meeting: Putin’s envoy calls Trudeau ‘very dishonest and weak’ on US tariffs

LA MALBAIE, QC – Russia’s diplomatic envoy Donald Trump expressed his frustrations to Twitter to call Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau on tariffs on US products. The Russian represent…

QUIZ: Is he into you or is he just looking for a LinkedIn endorsement?

In this fast and furious world of online communication and self-branding, who can say what is genuine human connection and what is a tactical mission to obtain a LinkedIn endorsement? Here are so…

Friendly neighbourhood cat just looking for good place to shit

KAMLOOPS, BC – Local domestic cat Mittens, known to many in his neighbourhood for spending his days prowling through backyards in apparent curiosity, is in fact curious only about which per…

NASA’s Curiosity rover finds evidence of nightlife on Mars

WASHINGTON, DC – NASA has announced that the Curiosity rover has recently discovered compelling evidence for the existence of nightlife on Mars, including but not limited to clubs, bars, an…

Rich dad greenlights new independent film

VANCOUVER, BC – The Canadian indie film world is abuzz today, following the announcement that local filmmaker Michael Fischer’s rich dad has greenlit production on indie dramedy, “Adulting,…

Report: More couples choosing box wine over basic human dignity

VANCOUVER – A recent poll indicates that more couples than ever are choosing to buy wine in a cardboard box rather than retain their own sense of self-worth. Theories abound as to the reaso…

5 great gifts for your grads that aren’t letting them move back in with you

Congratulations! Your son or daughter is almost ready to walk across that stage and become the university graduate ready to take on the world you always knew they would be. Here are 5 ideas for g…

Pregnant friend apparently first woman to ever be fucking pregnant

WELLINGTON, ON – Based entirely on how much they’re all talking about it, friends of local woman, Karen Hespeler, 29, say she seems to be the first woman in the entire fucking history of th…

Inspiration: Young drug dealer dreaming of becoming premier finally has a role model

MARKHAM – The election of Doug Ford as Ontario’s premier has become an inspiration for many young drug traffickers who now have the ambition to pursue public office one day. Despite all the…

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