Victory: Canadians celebrate Team Canada’s default participation in 2026 World Cup

MOSCOW – Canada has broken its decades old drought of participating in the World Cup after pulling off a shocking victory by co-hosting the global competition in 2026 and therefore a spot i…

Love hack! Pete Davidson got a tattoo of everyone he met until someone agreed to marry him

After a whirlwind three week romance, comedian Pete Davidson and pop messiah Ariana Grande are engaged! But how did their relationship escalate from DMs to ‘I do’s’? Davidson lets us in on his li…

Trudeau responds to escalating trade war by mobilizing nation’s Settlers of Catan players

OTTAWA – In addition to new levies on American goods, Justin Trudeau has reacted to US President Trump’s escalating trade war by calling in Canada’s most skilled players of Settlers of Cata…

Canada gains numerous concessions from Trump after becoming a ruthless dictatorship pursuing WMDs

OTTAWA – US tariffs on Canadian aluminum and steel have been promptly lifted after Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has impressed US President Donald Trump with numerous human rights violation…

Patriotism: This Canadian chugs a carton of milk to show support for the dairy board even though he’s lactose intolerant

Donald Trump’s attack on Canada’s Dairy Board has inspired one proud Canuck to show his country will not be intimidated by drinking 2 L of pure Canadian milk despite the fact he’s lactose intoler…

Local woman suggests stopping at the ‘good’ ONroute

PORT HOPE, ON – After repeatedly being asked to pull over so that her driving companion could go pee, Hannah Weisman insisted on forgoing several rest stops in favour of the ‘good’ ONroute.…

Tim Hortons drops even further in consumer trust rankings after introducing bitcoin donut

HAMILTON – After falling in Canadian consumer trust due to their response to the minimum wage hike, Tim Horton’s dropped another 46 places this week thanks to their latest specialty item, t…

Doug Ford to walk in Pride Parade only if Toronto Police allowed to beat path of gays in his way

TORONTO – Performing a symbolic act of support for the LGBT+ community, Ontario Premier designate, Doug Ford, says he will walk in Toronto’s Pride Parade on June 23rd but only if the Toront…

Trump admin escalates trade war with Canada by renaming Canadian Bacon ‘Cuck Ham’

WASHINGTON D.C. – In the midst of a tariff dispute with Canada, the Trump admin has moved to escalate the conflict by demanding all American grocery stores and restaurant refer to the cut o…

PM reminds those still fighting the War of 1812 to lay down their muskets, adhere to the Treaty of Ghent

OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has reminded Canadians still warring with Americans in a conflict that ended over 200 years ago to lay down their arms to appease US President Donald …