How dare Trudeau attack this hardworking Canadian heckler who we shouldn’t ask any further questions about

By Andrew Scheer As leader of the Conservative Party of Canada, I am outraged that Justin Trudeau publicly slammed a decent, law-abiding constituent who asked him a fair question and deserves no …

Netflix producer caught releasing dozens of bad movies into local river

HOLLYWOOD – A Netflix producer is facing charges after being caught dumping a number of god-awful movies into a local river. Residents began to report an excremental stench several weeks ag…

Weeks later and nothing has changed for accountant who starred in Fringe show

WINNIPEG, MB – Several weeks after starring in a nine-day run of his one-person show, “Pobody’s Nerfect,” absolutely nothing has changed in the life of local accountant Ryan Ward, whose dre…

Grade eight student really banking on new sneakers to turn things around for him

Hamilton, ON – After a tumultuous grade seven school year, Steven Littlewood 13, of Middleberry Public school has decided a new pair of running shoes will surely change everything. “I…

Nanalan’: Canadian television treasure or collective children’s fever dream

Childhood, a time of innocence and also being a child, when the candy doesn’t hurt your teeth and movies are always just under 90 minutes. If you grew up in the late 1990s, you would remember how…

Local fly is certain THIS window is the way out

LIVING ROOM – A local fly is convinced that after numerous false starts and window collisions, he’s finally figured out how to get back outside. “I’m feeling really good about this window,”…

Top 5 CNE attractions they paid us to write about so you’ll ignore their labour dispute

Let’s go to the Ex! The CNE is back in Toronto until September 3. And what would summer be without the outrageous food and classic rides? Sure there is a massive labour dispute where 400 stagehan…

In wake of sex abuse report, Catholic priests relieved God not actually real

PHILADELPHIA — Following a Pennsylvania grand jury report which detailed decades of sexual abuses by priests and cover-ups by bishops, the world’s Catholic priests are expressing relief tha…

Far-right groups demand removal of Sir John A statues down after learning he was an immigrant

MONTREAL – Far-right wing groups are calling for the immediate removal of any statues, busts, or dedications to Canada’s first Prime Minister after learning that he was born in Scotland. Ma…

Federal government thank wildfires for clearing path for Trans Mountain pipeline

KAMLOOPS, BC – The federal government is celebrating an unexpected windfall as it has discovered that the wildfires ravaging British Columbia have coincidentally cleared the path for the Tr…