Trump’s Hollywood tariffs force Dune 3 to shoot in Mississippi
Jackson, Arrakis – President Donald Trump’s proposed tariffs on movies filmed in other countries has forced Dune producers to relocate to Jackson, Mississippi. “It doesn’t quite match the d…
Subway unveils latest sloppy food tube
TORONTO – Reporters have gathered at Toronto’s Yorkville Subway to witness the sandwich company’s latest breakthrough in the field of ladling a bunch of sauce onto some salty meat crammed in a tu…
Netanyahu calls Canadian recognition of Palestine the worst thing anyone has ever done to Palestine
NEW YORK – In a speech before the UN General Assembly, Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu declared that Canada officially recognizing Palestine as a state is worse than anything else he could im…
Liberals respond to claim their new crime bill will criminalize legitimate protest: “Yup, that’s the idea.”
“You nailed it man. Way to figure it out!” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Megan MacKay and special guest Brandon Hackett) talk about Jimmy Kimmel’s absurd suspension, wonder…
Trump says Ukraine can have all its occupied territory back if it beats Putin’s offer
NEW YORK CITY – In a private meeting with Ukrainian President Volodymr Zelenskyy, US President Donald Trump stated he fully believes the embattled nation can take back all of its territory …
Landlord claims space under porch counts as second bedroom
35 Minutes Away From Where You’d Ideally Like To Live – Frank Moriarty, the landlord of the apartment you took the afternoon off from work to view, told you today that the space under the f…
Homophobic! Single lesbian has no girlfriend to watch Lilith Fair documentary with
TORONTO – Local lesbian Charlotte Tremblay reports recently experiencing a terrible incident of targeted discrimination after realizing she has no girlfriend to watch the new Lilith Fair document…
CRA addresses long call centre wait times by hiring CRA scammers
OTTAWA – In an effort to cut down call centre wait times, the Canada Revenue Agency has hired a new team of agents uniquely equipped to handle calls from concerned taxpayers: scammers who say you…
Danielle Smith invokes notwithstanding clause to win argument with spouse
EDMONTON – According to sources in the Premier’s household, Danielle Smith has invoked the notwithstanding clause to make her husband take out the trash. “As a libertarian-minded politician and …
Return of Jimmy Kimmel Show cheered by frazzled parents who white knuckled it through a weekend without Disney+
BURBANK, CA – The Walt Disney Company has announced late night host Jimmy Kimmel will return to ABC, a move cheered by free speech advocates and even more so by exhausted parents who cancel…
