Study: Doing yoga makes you three times more likely to tell people you do yoga

CALGARY — Scientists at the University of Calgary have discovered that the most likely outcome of committing to a yoga regime is telling people that you do yoga. Dr. Gerald Rutker went into…

Wedding attendee upset that there weren’t more pictures of her

KAMLOOPS BC – A disgruntled guest of Marsha and Graham Staedler’s wedding filed a complaint in regards to the lack of pictures taken of her last weekend. “I mean it’s ridiculous…

Promising students in Manitoba hope cuts in education was worth funding unpromising CFL team

WINNIPEG – Some of Manitoba’s smartest secondary students hope the $82 million bailout of the Winnipeg Blue Bombers will be worth the cuts to their education and potential future. “I don’t …

Chronically late man still finds time to check Instagram

MISSISSAUGA, ON – Running a shocking 35 minutes behind on his morning routine Bill Benson, 29, had nevertheless found time to prioritize what’s important in his life: checking in on social …

Local man still waving his hand in front of automated sink sensor

REGINA — Reports indicate that local man Cameron Watts, 34, is still trapped inside the bathroom of a local Outback Steakhouse, futilely waving his unwashed hands in front of the non-respon…

Father-in-law’s sphincter audibly tightens as son-in-law displays emotion

PINCHER CREEK, AB – Creating a clearly audible noise similar to the straining of an already-tight rubber band, local father-in-law Ken Gardner squeezed his anal sphincter shut at the sight …

BOMBSHELL: Brett Kavanaugh’s 1982 day planner introduces evidence that Styx rules

WASHINGTON – After extensive examination by the Senate Judiciary Committee, a calendar from 1982 – submitted by Supreme Court hopeful Brett Kavanaugh to disprove allegations that he c…

Local couple celebrates anniversary with cellphone lit dinner

EDMONTON – After three years together, Joseph Webber and Nina Crawford celebrated their relationship with an unforgettable night out staring at their phones. The two began by reading up on Yelp f…

NB’s People’s Alliance willing to negotiate with other parties so long as they expel remaining Acadians

FREDERICTON – The anti-francophone party that now holds three seats in New Brunswick’s Legislature said that they’re willing to negotiate with either the Liberals or Progressive Conservativ…

Justin Trudeau campaigns for Security Council seat by wearing traditional United Nations outfit

Luke and the Panel (Miguel Rivas, Alessandra Vite and Callum Wratten) are excited to talk about the news and do fun Australian accents. They do a deep dive into the Brett Kavanaugh scandal, recap…