MARKHAM, ON – In the act of crouching over her laptop for hours on end, Salma Kuchis managed to finally curl her spine perfectly into the approximation of the Golden Ratio. “Here I was thinking ...
Quebec suddenly fine with people covering their faces
QUEBEC CITY – As the province re-opens the government of Quebec has decided they’re actually super cool with teachers, civil servants and people accessing government services covering their face...
Caroline In The City cast reunites for pandemic episode for some reason
HOLLYWOOD — As people across the world continue to self-quarantine during the COVID-19 crisis, the cast of mid-90s NBC sitcom Caroline In The City will reunite for a one-time pandemic-themed epi...
Visiting kids excited to give mom the gift of coronavirus
HAMILTON – Many adult kids blowing off social distancing for Mother’s Day are looking forward to repaying their mothers for 18 years of love and financial support with a potentially deadly disease. Lo...
Report: Nothing accomplished in Zoom meetings as everyone distracted checking themselves out
TORONTO, ONT. – According to a new report published in Business Quarterly magazine, a significant majority of Canadian workplaces confirm that Zoom meetings are increasingly unproductive as emp...
Justice Department decides doing a crime that you did doesn’t mean you did the crime that you definitely did
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The United States Department of Justice has withdrawn charges against Donald Trump’s former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn. DOJ prosecutors had previously deter...
Local man tries to think of chill excuse to buy erotic books at yard sale
WINNIPEG – This week, local bargain-hunter Darryl Smith failed to come up with a convincing excuse to buy several volumes of erotic literature at a garage sale. Expecting to find an old copy of ...
Recently fired man sadly leaves home office
VICTORIA, BC – Following his termination from his project manager job at which he has been working remotely, local man Corey Nielson is reportedly beginning the joyless task of clearing the desk...
Corporations accused of price gouging Northern Communities during the pandemic and also a long time before the pandemic
WHITEHORSE – In the midst of heightened demand during the pandemic some corporations have come under fire for artificially increasing prices, a practice which many spent years perfecting in Nort...
Desperate TSN programmer just gonna start airing his high school hockey games
TORONTO – James Brennan, head of programming for TSN, is so desperate for some kind of sport to show the nation that he is just going to start playing full games of his high school hockey team, ...
