TORONTO – Premier Doug Ford expressed his frustration and outrage that the federal government is not doing his job. “622 people were caught by provincial and municipal police forces breaking qua...
Vancouver experiencing severe Mothman infestation
VANCOUVER – The Lower Mainland is witnessing an explosive increase in the area’s Mothman population, with experts calling it the largest cryptid infestation they’ve seen in decades. ...
Parents no longer consoling kids with: ‘it’s not the end of the world’
TORONTO – Parents across the planet have been racking their brains for new ways to calm their distressed children after realizing that the commonly used phrase: “it’s not the end of the world” no long...
Cop wears internal thoughts on the outside
TORONTO – A Toronto police officer seen with a patch featuring the symbol of Marvel’s The Punisher on his uniform while at a traffic safety news conference was only wearing his internal th...
Kielburgers inspire children nationwide to run away from their problems
TORONTO – Amidst government scandal, We Charity has announced it is winding down its operations in Canada in order to inspire countless Canadian children to run away from their problems too. “Th...
Trump slams Bob Woodward for waiting months to expose his lies about coronavirus
WASHINGTON DC – Following revelations in his upcoming book Rage that President Trump deliberately downplayed the severity of the COVID-19 pandemic, Trump attacked authour Bob Woodward for withho...
Beloved condo development torn down to make way for new condo development
TORONTO – Toronto city planners have announced that a long-cherished condominium development in the heart of downtown Toronto will soon be paved to make way for yet another new condo development. The ...
Face masks replaces Tim Hortons cups as Canada’s preferred public litter
Move over discarded double-double! The face mask is now Canada’s favourite source of roadside trash. The rubbish race is on as the once beloved plastic-lined cup is being replaced with millions of blu...
International pedophile ring brought down by guy whose profile pic is a sunset
HUNTSVILLE, ON – A global ring of wealthy, politically connected child traffickers has been exposed and subsequently brought to justice by a guy on Facebook whose profile photo is a low-res suns...
BC’s top doc: “This is why we can’t have nice things”
VICTORIA – An exhausted Dr. Bonnie Henry has reminded 5 million residents of British Columbia that this is why they can’t have nice things. “I’d expect this kind of behaviour from Alberta or Que...
