LONDON – Fans of The Crown are reeling after hearing news that one of the beloved characters of the series will die next season. “We want to prepare viewers early,” said series creator Peter Mor...
Canada’s vaccine roll out in slow motion for dramatic effect
TORONTO – In what many expected to be a rapid deployment of vaccines, Canada’s immunization response to the coronavirus has been in slow motion to ensure a dramatic effect that will captivate au...
Energized Trump scrambling to fit in as much treason as possible before term ends
Washington D.C. – The White House has witnessed a whirlwind of activity since the election as outgoing president Donald Trump is determined to commit as much treason as he can during his short t...
Report: India’s lockdown leads to 500% drop in white people finding themselves
TORONTO – According to a report released by the University of Toronto, the COVID-19 travel restrictions in India has led to a 500% decrease in white Canadians “just finding themselves, you...
Doug Ford promotes trickle-down approach to vaccine distribution
TORONTO – As he took a photo op with people receiving their second dose of the COVID vaccine while thousands of other doses sit in freezers, Ontario Premier Doug Ford maintained his government’s...
Perfume sample in magazine announces Dior’s latest scent, “Magazine Page”
TORONTO – Readers of Elle were treated to a delightful surprise in this month’s issue with the inclusion of a scented insert promoting Dior’s newest fragrance. Dior has confirmed that longtime i...
Local comedian doesn’t even know how to do any offensive accents
TORONTO, ON – 22-year-old comedian Kyle Johnson has been called out by his family and friends for being unable to do any offensive accents. The problem began when his father, Keith Johnson, told...
Bloc Leader caught visiting foreign country of Canada
QUEBEC – Bloc Québécois Leader Yves-François Blanchet has been accused of repeatedly visiting the foreign country of Canada during numerous lockdowns issued by Quebec. Blanchet allegedly visited...
Goldfish purchased to teach classroom about mortality no longer really necessary
Whitby, ON – The goldfish that elementary school teacher Lenore Kerdwin acquired in order to acclimatize her students to loss has become irrelevant in light of recent events. “I thought th...
Explorers discover uncharted tropical island populated entirely by Canadian politicians
SOMEWHERE OFF THE COAST OF CUBA – Explorers have stumbled upon an entirely uncharted island between Cuba and Jamaica with a population that consists solely of Canadian politicians on holiday dur...
