PARIS, FR – After decades of research and investigation forensic accountants have determined that Canada, originally named 33256 Ltd, has been operating as a shell corporation for the congr…
CRA abandons audit of ultra wealthy Canadians because they can’t count that high
OTTAWA – Reports from the Canada Revenue Agency shows its recent efforts to hinder tax evasion by the ultra rich had to be abandoned because the auditors couldn’t count as high as the amoun…
Subway station playing classical music plagued by loitering elderlies
TORONTO – As a means to deter young loiterers, TTC officials have begun playing a classical music compilation over the Dundas subway station intercom, which in turn has attracted groups of …
West Toronto getting close to 2025 goal of 1 cannabis dispensary per household
TORONTO – Mayor John Tory has announced that West Toronto is on track to meet its 2025 goal of 1 cannabis dispensary per household. Following legalization in 2018 Ontario found itself last …
Canada has proudly become a cultural mosaic of different Covid variants
OTTAWA – Over the past months, Canada has embraced the different strains of Covid-19 that have entered the country and is proud of the beautiful cultural mosaic our country has become. Alth…
Study: Every winter Canadians complain that every winter Canadians complain about the winter
OTTAWA – A new study has found that, for every three complaints expressed about winter, one complaint has been made about said complaints. “It’s like it’s their first winter ever!” said one…
“You can only trust your family!” says mother who doesn’t trust her children
PENTICTON, BC – Local mother Zeinab Mohajer has left her children dumbfounded by telling them they can only trust family after years of repeatedly showing her distrust for them. Reports ind…
With Biden in office, Canadian satirists scramble to familiarize selves with Canadian politics
TORONTO – As the political climate in the USA settles with President Joe Biden in office, Satirists and political comedians all across Canada are hurrying to develop even a passing familiar…
Local comedian doesn’t even know how to do any offensive accents
TORONTO, ON – 22-year-old comedian Kyle Johnson has been called out by his family and friends for being unable to do any offensive accents. The problem began when his father, Keith Johnson,…
Apple announces $600 sensibility-cancelling headphones
CUPERTINO, CA – Tech giant Apple introduced the world to a brand new member of the Airpod family, the Apple Airpod Max. This Bluetooth headphone promises high-fidelity audio, adaptive EQ, a…