Trudeau: If Canadians keep us in power for thirty more years, we promise to eventually do something about the environment
OTTAWA – The Liberal government has tabled their new Net-Zero Emissions Accountability Act in the House of Commons, finally coming through on their often cited election promise to do someth…
Attempted coup in global superpower much goofier than expected
WASHINGTON D.C. – The current attempt by Donald Trump and his Republican allies to subvert the will of the people and remain in power is, according to international observers, “way st…
30 year old uses same tone telling toddler not to eat lego as she does telling parents not to go on cruise
Kincardine, ON – Mona Lee has found herself repeatedly using the same patient but exasperated tone explaining why her toddler shouldn’t eat things that will kill him as she does when …
Toby Keith, 3 Doors Down excited for invitation to play Biden inauguration
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Musician Toby Keith and rock band 3 Doors Down have both reported how excited they are to be playing for the inauguration of the next US president Joe Biden. “I mean it h…
Local man not going to take coronavirus seriously until family member lay dying in hospital bed
WINNIPEG – Calling it one big hoax, local man Glen Harder is refusing to take the COVID-19 pandemic until it affects a loved one or someone close to him. The 42-year-old elevator technician…
Andrew Scheer officially passes John A. Macdonald as best grifter in Parliament history
OTTAWA – With news that he used taxpayer money to employ multiple family members former Conservative Party leader Andrew Scheer has finally passed Canada’s first PM, John A. Macdonald…
‘So far so good’ reports baby carrying around Ming Dynasty vase
CANMORE, AB- Oliver Jorgensen, a 14-month old baby who just learned to walk, has let everyone know that things are going very well in his attempt to carry around a priceless Ming Dynasty vase wit…
Doug Ford insists he will not hesitate to shut things down if he hears of any bad COVID news
TORONTO – Doug Ford has remained steadfast in his claim that if there is a single sign of trouble in regards to COVID, he will shut everything down. “Oh, you don’t want to know how willing …
iPhone battery collapsing from 100% to 1% signals arrival of winter
VANCOUVER – iPhones across the Vancouver area have signaled the beginning of winter by collapsing in battery power when subjected to a temperature below 9 degrees Celsius. “I can’t wait to …
