Scientists announce breakthrough in lab-grown beefcakes - The Beaverton
CMF
×
National
National
Local
Toronto
Montreal
Vancouver
North
Campus
University Reviews
Canada Votes 2015
World
World
U.S.
Historical Archives
Sports
Sports
Business
Business
Culture
Culture
Lifestyle
Health
Opinion
Parenting
Stats
Classifieds
BeavFeed
Beavfeed
Choice Your Own Adventure
Quiz
Slideshow
Guide To/How To
Merch
Support
The Book
Workshops
Scientists announce breakthrough in...
National
National
Local
Toronto
Montreal
Vancouver
North
Campus
University Reviews
Canada Votes 2015
Trudeau promises to stop swearing in House of Commons if it’ll keep you stupid cunts happy
Conservatives reassure Canadians they will not enact an abortion ban until they finish packing Supreme Court
Conservative Leadership Candidate Profile: Patrick Brown
Highlights of the Liberal’s 2022 budget
Toddler better at using iPad than local man is at doing anything
Guy who bought electric car last year struggling not to be smug about gas prices
Website you use to drunkenly order pizza requires stronger password than website you use to control all your money
Kids play house by having their imaginary friend price them out of the market
Toronto Police launch task force to send guns from Toronto to Ukraine
Toronto is now North America’s Third-Largest Tech Douchebag Hub
We found Toronto’s cheapest apartment: Jail!
New Pixar movie details fantastical story of being able to afford living in Toronto
Montreal rioters concerned COVID rules are destroying small businesses before they can destroy small businesses
Toppling of statue causes temporal rift as John A. MacDonald erased from history
Montreal halts road construction until everyone can enjoy it again
Half of Osheaga too high to realize festival ended 2 days ago
Thousands of Vancouver perverts delight in taking pictures of tree genitalia
New ‘Vancouver’ edition Peloton bike includes daily theft attempt
White man listing privileges starting to feel pretty accomplished
iPhone battery collapsing from 100% to 1% signals arrival of winter
Tied Yukon election to be decided by traditional chainsaw throw
Yukon exposed to 2 cases of assholes
Yukon refuses to change clocks back in smug defiance of the will of Demeter
Rest of Canada happy to exchange NWT election results for federal one
York Professor asks for a note from a dictator before agreeing to defer student’s exam
Queen’s students argue their campus outbreak will be way better than Western’s
Gaming the system: Recent 92-year-old university grad gets to die before she pays off her debt
Western University invites David Wooderson from “Dazed and Confused” to speak at convocation
Acadia University: The Beaverton University Reviews
Dalhousie University: The Beaverton University Reviews
OCAD University: University Reviews 2014
Ryerson University: The Beaverton University Reviews
NDP claim Liberals stole their idea to form majority government
Sun newspapers still reporting Harper majority
90-year-old who has never voted proudly casts first ballot for Social Credit party
Conservatives unveil last minute attack ad accusing Justin of supporting Kansas City
World
World
U.S.
Historical Archives
Toronto Police launch task force to send guns from Toronto to Ukraine
Experts admit world just going to have to learn to live with seasonal outbreaks of Vladimir Putin
Macron credits French election win to being “marginally better than fascism”
Sleeping cat literally has no idea how clue how close it is to nuclear annihilation
Editorial: Having the right to control your own body taken away is no reason to be rude!
US Supreme Court celebrates Mandatory Mother’s Day
Samuel Alito cringes at typo in leaked draft accidentally referring to women as “people”
Feminist Win! Supreme Court abortion draft validates what women have been screaming about for years
Toppling of statue causes temporal rift as John A. MacDonald erased from history
Village virgin sick of donating blood to every ritual sacrifice
July 24th, 1967: French President De Gaulle calls for Quebec to surrender, await for international help for liberation
Portraits of Canadiocity: Martin Luther King Jr
Sports
Sports
Raising your kids to be Leafs fans classified as child abuse
“Wanna see me open it with my teeth?” says frat boy operating the roof at the Rogers Centre
Local man’s emotional well being still entirely dependent on sport controlled by these idiots
Sportsnet apologises for interrupting gambling commercial with hockey
Business
Business
BMW, Tesla remain deadlocked in battle for rich asshole market
5 biggest changes Elon Musk will make to twitter
Twitter bursts into flames and rams pedestrians immediately after Musk buy
“As we know, I invented Twitter” claims Elon Musk three months from now
Culture
Culture
Lifestyle
Health
Opinion
Parenting
Stats
Classifieds
CBS announces ‘Young Sheldon’ spin-off, ‘Forced Birth Sheldon’
Last weekend was the Juno Awards and we forgot but here’s what might have happened
Studies confirm watching an in-flight movie from four rows behind makes it 10x better
Netflix cracks down on password sharing to help users let go of their ex
Local legend Can’t Count Johnson dies at the age of 375
Bar finally set low enough for mediocre man to become hero
“Now let’s do a silly one,” says man dictating his will
Study: Casually mentioning terrifying health scare two months later is parents’ favourite form of entertainment
Monkeypox curls single protein spike as man wishes to “stop hearing about COVID”
Conservative Party of Canada vows not to change ambiguous stance on abortion
4 tips for getting your body ready for tick season
Feminist Win! Supreme Court abortion draft validates what women have been screaming about for years
Editorial: Having the right to control your own body taken away is no reason to be rude!
Opinion: I’m not opposed to UBI for economic reasons, I’m opposed because I relish in the anguish and suffering of my fellow man
Opinion: this hockey game would be so much better if they just kissed already
Why Justin Trudeau being criticized by three far-right European politicians proves Canada’s international reputation is in tatters
Ontario reaches $10 child-care deal after Doug Ford achieves sole objective of no one getting help for a full year
Man raised by wolves unable to explain his tech job to parents
Disturbing UN prediction: by 2030, 80% of all newborns will be named Jackson
Toddler slamming on xylophone mistaken for jazz legend
86% of August e-mail traffic just duelling Out-Of-Office messages
2014 Canadian Federal Budget Preview
Most frequent lies found on online dating profiles
What are you dressing up as for Halloween?
Missed Connections: You were the public urinator on Main and 5th
LOTS OF JARS FULL OF APRICOT PITS.
ESSAY WRITERS NEEDED ASAP. BIG MONEY $$$$$.
UNIVERSITY student seeking mannequin to come alive and be my girlfriend.
BeavFeed
Beavfeed
Choice Your Own Adventure
Quiz
Slideshow
Guide To/How To
Five subtle ways to tell your friends you’re a ketamine guy now
Uh oh! We told this graduating class they can do anything and they believed us!
Wanna see some photos of a kid you don’t know, ya freakin’ weirdos?
5 return-to-office tips for not being recognized as a husk of your former self
You’re Jason Kenney. Can you find an excuse to get out of going to Calgary Pride?
You just lit off a bunch of fireworks before realizing you were in the Art Gallery of Ontario. Can you save the priceless pieces of art?
You magically turned into a bug! Can you live a happy and fulfilling life?
You have a chance to punch a Nazi. Do you take it?
Quiz: Which Conservative leadership candidate are you, and why is it Pierre Poilievre you sick fuck?
Quiz: Do you have Omicron? The answer is yes
QUIZ: Is he really into you, or does he just need your love to break his family’s curse?
Quiz: Do you live in a failed state or just Alberta?
Highlights of U.S. Election Day
10 things Doug Ford has already used the notwithstanding clause on
6 rugs that are actually just clothes you left on the floor
5 effortless pottery overalls worn by calmer women than you
How To Go Vegan…Next Week
Guide To: Edmonton
Guide To: St.John’s
How To Lose Weight
Merch
Support
The Book
Workshops
Scientists announce breakthrough in lab-grown beefcakes
News in Photos.