Scientists announce breakthrough in lab-grown beefcakes - The Beaverton

×

<img src="/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/new_head.png" class="logoimg" alt="The Beaverton"/>

National
- National
- Local
- Toronto
- Montreal
- Vancouver
- North
- Campus
- University Reviews
- Canada Votes 2015
World
Sports
- Sports
Business
- Business
Culture
- Culture
- Lifestyle
- Health
- Opinion
- Parenting
- Stats
- Classifieds
BeavFeed
Merch
Support
The Book
Workshops

Scientists announce breakthrough in...

<img src="/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/new_head.png" class="logoimg" alt="The Beaverton"/>

National
- National
- Local
- Toronto
- Montreal
- Vancouver
- North
- Campus
- University Reviews
- Canada Votes 2015
Trudeau promises to stop swearing in House of Commons if it’ll keep you stupid cunts happy

Conservatives reassure Canadians they will not enact an abortion ban until they finish packing Supreme Court

Conservative Leadership Candidate Profile: Patrick Brown

Highlights of the Liberal’s 2022 budget

Toddler better at using iPad than local man is at doing anything

Guy who bought electric car last year struggling not to be smug about gas prices

Website you use to drunkenly order pizza requires stronger password than website you use to control all your money

Kids play house by having their imaginary friend price them out of the market

Toronto Police launch task force to send guns from Toronto to Ukraine

Toronto is now North America’s Third-Largest Tech Douchebag Hub

We found Toronto’s cheapest apartment: Jail!

New Pixar movie details fantastical story of being able to afford living in Toronto

Montreal rioters concerned COVID rules are destroying small businesses before they can destroy small businesses

Toppling of statue causes temporal rift as John A. MacDonald erased from history

Montreal halts road construction until everyone can enjoy it again

Half of Osheaga too high to realize festival ended 2 days ago

Thousands of Vancouver perverts delight in taking pictures of tree genitalia

New ‘Vancouver’ edition Peloton bike includes daily theft attempt

White man listing privileges starting to feel pretty accomplished

iPhone battery collapsing from 100% to 1% signals arrival of winter

Tied Yukon election to be decided by traditional chainsaw throw

Yukon exposed to 2 cases of assholes

Yukon refuses to change clocks back in smug defiance of the will of Demeter

Rest of Canada happy to exchange NWT election results for federal one

York Professor asks for a note from a dictator before agreeing to defer student’s exam

Queen’s students argue their campus outbreak will be way better than Western’s

Gaming the system: Recent 92-year-old university grad gets to die before she pays off her debt

Western University invites David Wooderson from “Dazed and Confused” to speak at convocation

Acadia University: The Beaverton University Reviews

Dalhousie University: The Beaverton University Reviews

OCAD University: University Reviews 2014

Ryerson University: The Beaverton University Reviews

NDP claim Liberals stole their idea to form majority government

Sun newspapers still reporting Harper majority

90-year-old who has never voted proudly casts first ballot for Social Credit party

Conservatives unveil last minute attack ad accusing Justin of supporting Kansas City
World
Toronto Police launch task force to send guns from Toronto to Ukraine

Experts admit world just going to have to learn to live with seasonal outbreaks of Vladimir Putin

Macron credits French election win to being “marginally better than fascism”

Sleeping cat literally has no idea how clue how close it is to nuclear annihilation

Editorial: Having the right to control your own body taken away is no reason to be rude!

US Supreme Court celebrates Mandatory Mother’s Day

Samuel Alito cringes at typo in leaked draft accidentally referring to women as “people”

Feminist Win! Supreme Court abortion draft validates what women have been screaming about for years

Toppling of statue causes temporal rift as John A. MacDonald erased from history

Village virgin sick of donating blood to every ritual sacrifice

July 24th, 1967: French President De Gaulle calls for Quebec to surrender, await for international help for liberation

Portraits of Canadiocity: Martin Luther King Jr
Sports
- Sports
Raising your kids to be Leafs fans classified as child abuse

“Wanna see me open it with my teeth?” says frat boy operating the roof at the Rogers Centre

Local man’s emotional well being still entirely dependent on sport controlled by these idiots

Sportsnet apologises for interrupting gambling commercial with hockey
Business
- Business
BMW, Tesla remain deadlocked in battle for rich asshole market

5 biggest changes Elon Musk will make to twitter

Twitter bursts into flames and rams pedestrians immediately after Musk buy

“As we know, I invented Twitter” claims Elon Musk three months from now
Culture
- Culture
- Lifestyle
- Health
- Opinion
- Parenting
- Stats
- Classifieds
CBS announces ‘Young Sheldon’ spin-off, ‘Forced Birth Sheldon’

Last weekend was the Juno Awards and we forgot but here’s what might have happened

Studies confirm watching an in-flight movie from four rows behind makes it 10x better

Netflix cracks down on password sharing to help users let go of their ex

Local legend Can’t Count Johnson dies at the age of 375

Bar finally set low enough for mediocre man to become hero

“Now let’s do a silly one,” says man dictating his will

Study: Casually mentioning terrifying health scare two months later is parents’ favourite form of entertainment

Monkeypox curls single protein spike as man wishes to “stop hearing about COVID”

Conservative Party of Canada vows not to change ambiguous stance on abortion

4 tips for getting your body ready for tick season

Feminist Win! Supreme Court abortion draft validates what women have been screaming about for years

Editorial: Having the right to control your own body taken away is no reason to be rude!

Opinion: I’m not opposed to UBI for economic reasons, I’m opposed because I relish in the anguish and suffering of my fellow man

Opinion: this hockey game would be so much better if they just kissed already

Why Justin Trudeau being criticized by three far-right European politicians proves Canada’s international reputation is in tatters

Ontario reaches $10 child-care deal after Doug Ford achieves sole objective of no one getting help for a full year

Man raised by wolves unable to explain his tech job to parents

Disturbing UN prediction: by 2030, 80% of all newborns will be named Jackson

Toddler slamming on xylophone mistaken for jazz legend

86% of August e-mail traffic just duelling Out-Of-Office messages

2014 Canadian Federal Budget Preview

Most frequent lies found on online dating profiles

What are you dressing up as for Halloween?

Missed Connections: You were the public urinator on Main and 5th

LOTS OF JARS FULL OF APRICOT PITS.

ESSAY WRITERS NEEDED ASAP. BIG MONEY $$$$$.

UNIVERSITY student seeking mannequin to come alive and be my girlfriend.
BeavFeed
Five subtle ways to tell your friends you’re a ketamine guy now

Uh oh! We told this graduating class they can do anything and they believed us!

Wanna see some photos of a kid you don’t know, ya freakin’ weirdos?

5 return-to-office tips for not being recognized as a husk of your former self

You’re Jason Kenney. Can you find an excuse to get out of going to Calgary Pride?

You just lit off a bunch of fireworks before realizing you were in the Art Gallery of Ontario. Can you save the priceless pieces of art?

You magically turned into a bug! Can you live a happy and fulfilling life?

You have a chance to punch a Nazi. Do you take it?

Quiz: Which Conservative leadership candidate are you, and why is it Pierre Poilievre you sick fuck?

Quiz: Do you have Omicron? The answer is yes

QUIZ: Is he really into you, or does he just need your love to break his family’s curse?

Quiz: Do you live in a failed state or just Alberta?

Highlights of U.S. Election Day

10 things Doug Ford has already used the notwithstanding clause on

6 rugs that are actually just clothes you left on the floor

5 effortless pottery overalls worn by calmer women than you

How To Go Vegan…Next Week

Guide To: Edmonton

Guide To: St.John’s

How To Lose Weight
Merch
Support
The Book
Workshops

Scientists announce breakthrough in lab-grown beefcakes

March 31, 2021 by Roderick Scobie ( @roderickscobie )

News in Photos.

See More: beef, GMO, lab coat

Subscribe to our mailing list

Leave this field empty if you're human:

Most Popular

Raising your kids to be Leafs fans classified as child abuse
Jason Kenney finally delivers best summer ever
As bitcoin crashes, Poilievre vows to find new volatile fad to tie Canadian economy to
Leafs forfeit Game 7 to save everyone the trouble

MERCH

<img alt="merch1" src="/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Merch1.png">

"Local Man Wears Funny T-Shirt" T-Shirt

<img alt="merch2" src="/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Merch2.png">

"This Is My Winter Coat" Hoodie

<img alt="merch3" src="/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Merch3.jpg">

"I Thought The Beaverton Was Satire" T-Shirt

<img alt="merch5" src="/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Merch5.png">

"House Hippo Dad" T-Shirt

Tweets by TheBeaverton Follow @TheBeaverton

<img width="137" src="/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/new_head.png"/>

"North America's Trusted Source of News"

LEGAL

Contest
Disclaimer
Website Terms and Conditions
Cookies Policy
Privacy Policy

ABOUT

About the Show
Masthead
Content Submission Guidelines

Copyright 2010 - 2022 The Beaverton. All rights reserved.