LOCATION REDACTED ― The secret meeting of national Republican politicians was interrupted this week by the undisputed mastermind of American villainy, who was reportedly furious at his underlings for ...
Man who “can’t relate” to Turning Red loves Star Wars
TORONTO – Local man Terrance Matthews has reported to his friends that he couldn’t relate to Turning Red’s main character while still deeply relating to Luke Skywalker from Star Wars. “The impo...
“Liberals and NDP working together to prevent a harmful Conservative government? Weird,” say Horwath and Del Duca simultaneously
TORONTO – As news of the federal Liberals and NDP confidence and supply agreement reached them, both NDP Leader Andrea Horwath and Liberal Leader Steven Del Duca expressed surprise at why they w...
Conservatives warn Liberal-NDP deal is “backdoor socialism”, “handjob democracy” and “salad-tossing representation”
OTTAWA – Following the announcement of a plan for the NDP to support Justin Trudeau’s Liberal government until 2025, Conservative MPs ar warning the deal will surely lead to “backdoor socialism”...
How to listen to someone when there’s a bowl of salt and vinegar chips right there
We’ve all been there- someone is telling you a story, probably an extremely personal one that requires your full attention, but also there’s a bowl of salt and vinegar chips right there, bathed in ang...
Backed into a corner, Liberals make deal to follow through on some of their election promises
OTTAWA – The federal Liberal and NDP parties have come to an agreement, where in exchange for passing confidence motions and budget bills, the Liberals will acquiesce and follow through on a fra...
Let’s Go Brandon, Manitoba! tourism campaign deemed failure
BRANDON, MB – The Tourism Board of Manitoba had prematurely ended a campaign designed to draw travelers to the city of Brandon, Manitoba, citing ‘unforeseen circumstances.’ Mackenzie Beal,...
Report: wanting COVID to be over and it actually being over technically two different things
TORONTO – As provinces around the country abandon vaccine and mask mandates, a shocking new report has concluded that just because we’d all like the pandemic to be over, doesn’t actu...
Engineer who graduated ten years ago discovers traces of purple paint behind ear
TORONTO – An engineer who graduated a full decade ago has discovered he still has a bit of purple paint behind his ear. Cole Sterling was just a bright-eyed and moderately drunk engineering student wh...
Friend insists you gotta watch first 17 seasons of TV show before it gets good
NETFLIX, Internet – Your friend just scolded you for giving up the show he wanted you to watch after you reported only watching the first three seasons and not liking it. “Dude, you didn’t even ...
