EDMONTON – Local data analyst Rolly Crowne, who is well known for his exhaustive knowledge about the various age of consent laws in different states, provinces, and countries, recently noted to ...
CTV apologizes for firing 58-year-old Lisa LaFlamme: “She should’ve been fired when she turned 50”
TORONTO – CTV and their owner Bell Media have expressed their deepest regrets over their recent decision to unceremoniously fire CTV National News anchor Lisa Laflamme, when clearly she should’v...
Man who can’t afford to travel enters minute 25 of listening to friend’s airport horror story
TORONTO – Local man Eric Braiser is currently approaching the half-hour mark of politely listening to his friend Sarah talk about what a nightmare her recent flight out of Pearson was. “I ...
REPORT: Loneliness epidemic singled out, ostracized by other epidemics
RICHMOND, BC – As persistent loneliness continues to affect the health of billions, it remains unable to gain acceptance and inclusion from its epidemic peers. “I’ve been harming people’s well-being l...
Vancouver removes tents from Eastside unless they can prove they’re a weed shop
VANCOUVER – This week on Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside police began removing tents from the sidewalks, unless the individuals inside could show proof that the structure is actually a cannabis di...
New U.S. Environmental Protection Plan basically just giving nature guns
WASHINGTON, DC- The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency announced its new strategy to conserve natural spaces; distributing firearms to all native plant and animal species to allow them to protect th...
Columnist just going to re-run his “Nobody Wants To Work Anymore!” editorial from last month to save the effort
TORONTO – David Maddux, one of the National Post’s best hate-click generators, has decided to simply re-run his Nobody Wants To Work Anymore column to save himself the time and effort. ...
Oh no! Unread email continues to exist
WINNIPEG – Local account manager Meghan Gessele was horrified this week to discover that, upon returning to her workstation after using the restroom, an unread email she had left unread was stil...
“How do we make baseball more exciting?” asks only sport with mandatory stretch break
NEW YORK – This weekend, MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred held an emergency meeting to discuss how the league could reignite viewer interest in the intensely long and excruciatingly slow-paced sport of ba...
Hockey Canada buries Lucky Sexual Assault Settlement under centre ice before start of World Juniors
EDMONTON – In an effort to bring a little luck to our boys, Hockey Canada has revealed they had the ice maintenance crew at Rogers Place bury a lucky confidential sexual assault settlement under...
