FBI confirms everything seized in Mar-a-Lago raid very, very sticky
PALM BEACH, FL – FBI agents who recently participated in the raid on former President Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort have revealed to the press that while they are still sifting through the relevance …
Being held accountable by federal government clear proof that Trump is not a real billionaire
Palm Beach, FL – The FBI enforcing a search warrant on his Mar-A-Lago estate as a result of a DOJ investigation into his behaviour has made it abundantly clear that Donald Trump is not the …
Danielle Smith clarifies that it’s Alberta first, Saskatchewan second, New Brunswick last
EDMONTON – Running for leader of the UCP on a platform of ‘Alberta First’ Danielle Smith took time today to give reporters her clear ranking of the Canadian provinces. “Ma…
Damp-hand fetishist introduces himself to people coming out of public restrooms
WINNIPEG — Martin Melnyk reportedly spent Saturday at The Forks, a popular local mall, introducing himself to people emerging from the washrooms, hoping to find someone willing to shake his hand.…
Sounds like roommate’s pretty bad at sex
EDMONTON – According to sources in Stacey Greene’s two-bedroom apartment, her roommate’s latest attempt at sex is not going well. “Taylor and their date disappeared into their room about 20 minu…
Toddler cannot fucking believe mom is here
FREDERICTON, NB – During a recent family gathering reports have emerged that 19-month-old Rodney McPhee has absolutely lost his mind with excitement upon noticing that his mother, Ainsley M…
Buffoonery anticipated as man laden with food and drink attempts to enter hammock
CALGARY – Local bumbler Kevin Hurst is planning to enter his hammock with a variety of easily spilled snacks and beverages, prompting onlookers and analysts to anticipate a series of zany hijinks…
Editorial: This is my very bad, not thought out opinion and if you get even a little mad at me I’ll freak the fuck out
By: Liza Garr To all of you fortunate readers who have the honour of reading my words, welcome to the editorial section. This is a space where I feel comfortable to share my malformed and hastily…
Alex Jones claims he’s being played by a crisis actor
AUSTIN, TX – Infowars founder Alex Jones has entered his defense in the $150 million lawsuit filed against him by Sandy Hook parents, claiming he’s never heard of Infowars and is, in fact,…
