CALEDON, ON ― A local hacker’s nefarious plot to maliciously log into a first-year student’s account and do their algebra was frustrated this week, thanks to the foresight of administrators who requir...






CALEDON, ON ― A local hacker’s nefarious plot to maliciously log into a first-year student’s account and do their algebra was frustrated this week, thanks to the foresight of administrators who requir...



GENEVA — The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change put out a statement today advising potential parents to only create and rear as many children as they believe they’ll feasibly be able to consume...



OTTAWA – As graduating high school seniors across the country look forward to starting post-secondary education, students from the Carleton University class of 2027 are excited to begin the four...



CUPERTINO, CA – Computer scientists were stunned this week when they discovered that the Apple facial recognition program running on your iPhone lives a life of unrequited desire because it harb...



TORONTO – The Ontario Divisional Court has upheld the College of Psychologists’ determination that, due to his hateful tweets and comments, training on social media etiquette will be required fo...



San Francisco, CA – Elon Musk has reportedly been waiting outside Mark Zuckerberg’s San Francisco residence until he leaves his house so he can knock on his door and run. “I’m setting up an epic...



OTTAWA – With polls showing Conservatives trouncing the federal Liberals in a hypothetical election, Prime Minister Trudeau reassured worried party staffers that he will suffer almost no loss to...



TORONTO – The Leafs and franchise centre Auston Matthews have agreed to a 4 year, 53 million dollar contract extension in a move that numerous experts on twitter and reddit believe has doomed th...



TORONTO – Onlookers yesterday afternoon were treated to a remarkable display of the very best humanity has to offer, as local driver Jonas Grumby tapped lightly on his brakes while making a right turn...



Despite riding high in the polls Conservatives are worried that Canadians haven’t exactly warmed up to Pierre Poilievre just yet. So they’re spending a ton of time and money to try to soft...