By Harold Bilfat In today’s world, self-actualization is valued above all else. Political correctness tells us everyone is special, and we can be whoever we want to be. Yet, on one subject, polit…
Time for Hillary Clinton to move on, but not so much that I can’t project my impotent rage onto her
By Herbert Finderman With the release of her new book, What Happened, Hillary Clinton has shown once again that she is unwilling to do what Americans have wanted her to do for years: get out of p…
Vacation that was 90% eating best two weeks of couple’s relationship
BERMUDA – Reports late last night confirm that the two-week cruise taken by Calgary couple Kyle and Maria Thompson which consisted almost entirely of eating was “the best two weeks of our l…
Spanx releases new shapewear to smooth out unsightly face fat
ATLANTA – In a press conference earlier today, pioneering shapewear company Spanx unveiled a new shapewear product designed to tone and tighten facial fat for a smoother, more put-together look. …
Quiz: Should you have a wedding band, a DJ, or a screaming ghost?
Your big day is coming up soon! So many things to plan, from the food, to the cocktails, to the clothes. But don’t skimp on one important detail—the entertainment! Hiring a wedding band is a sure…
Quebec Maître D’ stunned as enigmatic tourist greets him in his native tongue
MONTREAL — Jon Dubois, maître d’ of Montreal restaurant Le Poirier, reported feeling shocked earlier this week when an charming yet mysterious woman–who had clearly travelled from a f…
Sadly, today’s college students won’t let me exercise my free speech just because this is a silent reading room in a library
By Adam Carolla Nobody else is saying it, so I’m going to—today’s college students are spoiled. By allowing them to cower in “safe spaces” and “quiet study zones” and “single occupant washrooms”,…
Shark pressed up against aquarium glass fascinated by wonders of human life
TORONTO—Reports show that Freddie, a 2-year old tiger shark at Ripley’s Aquarium, has pressed himself up against the glass to get a closer look at the incredible spectacle of human life playing o…
Trump pulls out of climate change agreement in hopes climate will cave, give better deal
WASHINGTON D.C. — President Donald Trump has announced that America will be withdrawing from the Paris Accord on Climate Change, a move which his administration says will force the climate to agr…
Honest Ed’s demolition crew rescues 3rd group of lost shoppers this week
TORONTO – crews tasked with clearing the enormous warehouse discount store Honest Ed’s have encountered its third contingent of roaming, disoriented shoppers since Wednesday. Foreman Jim Pe…
