PETERBOROUGH – Present polls panicking Pierre Poilievre, proving poor political performance, privy pals pronounced.
“Pah! Pesky plebs!” pouted Poilievre. “Perhaps people picture Pierre Poilievre pivoting past politics? Poilievre prefers prime parliamentarian!”
Previously, Poilievre perfected populism. Present president perforated Pierre’s principal platform plank, politicos pontificated. Pending preferred Poilievre proclamations promising proficient production, public purportedly picking present PM.
“Perchance Pierre’s performance passes present polls pending peculiar pecuniary practices,” pondered pollster Peter Perkins. “Publications preclude political picture’s possible prodigious permutations.”
Per predictions, practical patriotic policies probably prevailing. Press printing Poilievre’s pissy presentations perhaps perturbed polls, producing population purposefully pondering punting Poilievre.
At press time, the Conservative Party leader was trying to remember which Alberta riding he represented.
