TORONTO – As they continue to win games despite being completely unable to score goals, the Toronto Maple Leafs players and coaches expressed confidence that their success will continue as long as their two goalies continue to be the best in the league every game.
“Sure we have no depth scoring, our PP sucks and Matthews is clearly not 100%,” said coach Craig Berube. “But as long as an injury prone sophomore and a career backup continue to be the best goalies on the planet, I’m sure we’ll make the playoffs.”
“If they both break the NHL’s season record for save percentage we might even win the Division.”
Since Berube took over the Leafs have prioritized playing playoff style hockey, meaning sitting back and hoping your goalie goes on a heater and drags your ass to success. So far the results have been undeniable.
“This team is different from all the ones that failed in the playoffs in recent years,” said TSN analyst Bryan Hayes. “They don’t try to win 7-5 or 6-3. They go out there and win 2-1 or 1-0, which is obviously better even though the score is objectively closer.”
“You can’t depend on scoring a ton of goals in the playoffs. What you can depend on is a goalie continuing to post career best numbers while playing way more games than he ever has before.”
In related news the team was thinking about doing things differently at the trade deadline this year by trading for a stay at home defenceman who isn’t Ilya Lyubushkin or Luke Schenn.
