MONTREAL – A homicide has gone unsolved after the eyewitness who was right there turned out to be an NHL referee, and therefore somehow missed the entire thing. “He was standing right…
Tag: Featured Post
5 Father’s Day gift Ideas that scream “you are a stranger to me”
Father’s day is coming up, and you know what that means: it’s time to buy a modestly priced gift for the enigmatic man who raised you from birth without sharing a single personal detail about him…
Lottery travel prizes give vaccinated Albertans chance to bring home exciting new variants
EDMONTON – With the recent announcement that the provincial vaccination lottery will include free air travel and resort vacations as prizes, Albertans are eager to find out if they will soo…
Ontario vaccination drive first ever government health campaign to succeed in spite of government
TORONTO – As the percentage of Ontarians receiving their second dose increases dramatically, researchers are hailing the event as the first ever government run health campaign to succeed de…
Experts advise house hunting millennials to stop buying lattes and start forming exploitative development groups
TORONTO – After Core Development Group announced plans to buy a billion dollars worth of Canadian homes and convert them into rental units, financial advisers are telling millennials in the housi…
Doug Ford invokes second notwithstanding clause making it illegal to criticize him for invoking notwithstanding clause
TORONTO – After using the notwithstanding clause to pass a bill designed to stop teachers’ and nurses’ unions from running ads criticizing him, Doug Ford and the Ontario PCs hav…
Side effects of trying to book a shot using Ontario’s vaccination system worse than side effects of the vaccines
TORONTO – According to research by Health Canada, the health side effects of trying to book a vaccine appointment using Ontario’s vaccine registration portal are actually worse for yo…
Ford invokes Notwithstanding Clause to prevent people from pointing out what a fucking piece of shit he is
TORONTO – Doug Ford invoked the Notwithstanding Clause yesterday in order to pass an unconstitutional bill restricting outside parties from telling voters what an absolute piece of shit he …
Fully vaccinated grandparents descend on nation’s strip clubs
OTTAWA – As elderly Canadians receive their second COVID vaccine before younger citizens, hordes of thirsty seniors are flooding into the nation’s strip clubs. “I spent quarantine worrying I’d ha…
Ontario vaccination registration web-designers unprepared for possibility of people using site
TORONTO – After the provincial vaccination website opened to residents looking to book their second dose became slow, unwieldy, and inaccurate, web-designers hired for the job confronted th…
