SLEEPY HOLLOW, NY – The figure known colloquially as the ‘Headless Horseman’ is attempting to set the record straight about the status of his cranium and the hurt caused by hund…
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Mad pseudoscientist unable to replicate previous results at bringing monstrosity to life
CASTLE LAZARUS – Doctor Viktor Lazarus a “self-taught” student of the biological and galvanic sciences has purportedly been working for weeks to repeat his past success at creating ungodly …
Metastatic cancer worried people will start associating it with Facebook
MENLO PARK, CA – Following the announcement that the corporation which owns Facebook, Instagram and Oculus has changed its name to Meta Platforms, Inc., the process which results in cancero…
Education Minister clarifies he would have normally fired 50,000 education workers for non-COVID reasons
TORONTO – Ontario’s Education Minister Stephen Lecce explained that he would have made Ontario’s education system “more efficient” by cutting 50,000 education jobs, but enforcing a vaccine …
“I’m not going to get vaccinated just to comply with arbitrary public safety rules,” says cop who makes living writing speeding tickets
TORONTO – As the deadline looms for Toronto police to get vaccinated or be put on unpaid leave, many officers who spend their days writing speeding tickets are refusing to get “an unn…
Province that didn’t pay $4.5 billion for Trans Mountain pipeline votes against equalization
EDMONTON – The province that didn’t pay $4.5 billion for the Trans Mountain pipeline has voted 62% in favour of refusing to understand how the federal equalization program works. The ‘Yes’ …
Cabinet Shakeup: Meet the new ministers whose names you won’t encounter again until they screw up so badly it makes the news
OTTAWA – It’s a busy period for Canadians. Halloween is approaching, Christmas is less than two months away, and Canada is still in the grips of a deadly pandemic that’s crippling our econo…
The next Schitt’s Creek? Over four people have watched this new CBC show
TORONTO – CBC executives are celebrating the wild success of the network’s new sitcom, Living Around, which is now watched by well over most of two households. “Living Around is probably the firs…
Ford hopes removing all incentive for people to get vaccinated will encourage people to get vaccinated
TORONTO – Premier Doug Ford has announced his plan to encourage vaccine hesitant people to finally get vaccinated: end the vaccine passport system that encourages them to get vaccinated. &#…
Edward Rogers announces takeover from small corner of home where he can get reception
TORONTO – The ousted chairman of Rogers Communications has announced he will try to take back control of the company from the corner of his second floor bedroom, the only location where his…
