Selkirk, MB – During a recent Zoom hang your friend Matt asked if you will be refraining from drinking this month, because he’s a piece of shit who should shut his shit mouth. “…
Tag: Featured Post
Jason Kenney calls Alberta’s bountiful harvest a ‘godsend,’ oddly cagey about which god
EDMONTON – Jason Kenney has been celebrating the bumper harvest Alberta is expecting to bring in this year, but has been reticent to name which deity he holds responsible for this agricultu…
Fuming Donald Trump tells Putin vaccine didn’t work
WASHINGTON – After testing positive for COVID-19, an irate U.S. President Donald Trump called Russian President Vladimir Putin on Friday morning to tell him that the Russian-made vaccine he was g…
Shredder refuses to denounce Foot Clan
NEW YORK CITY – After telling the Foot Clan to, “stand by”, prominent New York businessman and armoured, ninja guy, Shredder, is under heavy fire for his refusal to denounce the group. “I d…
5 ways to suggest an open marriage that all end in divorce
Though you may not have signed up for an open marriage when you said “I do,” that doesn’t mean you and your spouse can’t rewrite the rules mid-game! Here are five subtle ways to casually bring up…
Group of 14 drinking together at bar claim they are part of same 10 person bubble
Sarnia, ON – A group of 14 people who spent last night drinking and partying in very close proximity to one another say it’s fine because they are all in a 10 person bubble together. …
“I don’t think the COVID second wave will be so bad,” says man who will be primary cause of third wave
TORONTO – Local man Charlie Denison has expressed his opinion that the second wave of COVID will not be as bad as everyone fears, and he can continue doing the activities that will be a dir…
Thousands of rich Canadians who also pay zero dollars in tax glance around nervously
OTTAWA – In the wake of the New York Times’ revelation that Donald Trump paid almost no income tax for the last 15 years, Canada’s wealthy are really hoping no one notices how l…
Feminist win! Supreme Court nominee who thinks women aren’t people is a woman!
WASHINGTON – U.S. President Donald Trump nominated certified #girlboss Judge Amy Coney Barrett to the Supreme Court this afternoon, who, if confirmed, would not only become one of only three wome…
Beer and board games night ruined by beer and board games
SARNIA, ON- A local friendly gathering known as “Beer and board games night” quickly devolved into noisy, aggressive chaos after the appearance of beer and board games. The night was organi…
