Antitrust Investigation reveals Westboro Baptist Church actually a subsidiary of Disney
ORLANDO – A recent investigation by the US Department of Justice has revealed that the deplorable hate group known as the “Westboro Baptist Church” is a wholly-owned subsidiary of the marginally …
China finds Keystone XL environmental worries ‘Adorable’
BEIJING – The Keystone Pipeline, which is proposed to deliver crude oil from the Athabasca oil sands region in Alberta, Canada to Illinois, Oklahoma and the gulf coast of Texas, has been th…
Hyphen fails to become dash
TORONTO – While working late into the evening on an overdue philosophy essay using Microsoft Word, university student Michael Stefanescu’s hyphen failed to become a dash. “Lette…
BREAKING: Bonhomme announces bid for Bloc Québécois leadership
QUEBEC CITY – With his formal duties as the mascot for Quebec’s Winter Carnaval 2013 complete, Bonhomme Carnaval (Good Man Carnival) has announced his next move will be a bid for the Bloc Q…
Marc Garneau blames defeat in Liberal Leadership race on Chris Hadfield
OTTAWA – Marc Garneau told reporters Monday that the reason he was not able to capture the public’s attention during his bid for Liberal leadership is because current International Space St…
Ya, you should probably start getting really afraid of Sinkholes
By a Sinkhole Hey my man, I know you’ve been worrying about a lot of things lately – sharks, parasites you can only get in countries you will never visit, and the specific contents of…
CNN anchor sad for CNN’s suffering caused by teen’s rape
ATLANTA, GA – A CNN anchor described the sorry fate of the company she works for on Monday after watching it get barraged with protests by the public and the media for its coverage of the s…
Dozens dead after rotten green meat mistaken for St. Patrick’s Day special
ST. CATHERINE’S, ON – Well over 20 people were reported dead last night, with countless more hospitalized, after the rancid, green meat served at O’Malley’s Irish Bar and Grill was mistaken…
Democracy flounders in Egypt despite consensus on walking style
CAIRO – Protests continued in the streets of Cairo Thursday as prospects for the fledgling Egyptian democracy look increasingly bleak. Egyptian politicians and pundits alike have expressed …
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