Ford to slay Toronto’s Dragon of Wasteful Spending
ETOBICOKE, ON – Recently elected Mayor Rob Ford has announced plans to single-handedly slay Toronto’s Dragon of Wasteful Spending, a 44 headed monster weighing over 21.3 billion tonne…
Internet cafe user caught peaking into neighbouring Internet cafe user’s booth
WINNIPEG – Last Thursday at a Portage Avenue Internet café, an elderly man peeked into the booth beside the one he was using. The neighbouring booth was occupied at the time by a pair of st…
Annoying writers exclaim ‘news brief’ following any observation they make
THE BEAVERTON – Two self-absorbed writers for a Canadian fake news publication believe nearly everything they say is worth publishing for the enjoyment of others. Anytime one of the writers says …
Joey Votto: ‘Can I have $10 million now?’
CINCINNATI, OH – In a telephone conversation with his agent shortly after winning the National League MVP, Cincinnati Reds first baseman Joey Votto repeatedly asked if he was now going to e…
University nerds to launch Naked Girl Rover
TORONTO – University of Toronto nerds announced earlier today plans to launch a small rover to the women’s change room in the university’s Athletic Centre late in 2011. The Naked Girl Rover…
I can slide rule your ass under the table
By Donald Testa Sr., Professor of Engineering Queen’s University Quick, what’s 529 divided by 23? What’s the matter, forget your 23 times table, you miserable excuse for an engineering graduate? …
