When will I ever need these equations in real life?
By Stephen Hawking A few days ago I stumbled across a major empirical inconsistency in the apsidal precession predicted by Einstein’s general theory of relativity. As I finished writing dow…
UPDATE: After yet another terrorist bust, RCMP Stetson hats now too small to fit ego
VICTORIA – After successfully stopping an attempted Canada Day terrorist attack that could have potentially killed many, marking their second major bust in 2013, the RCMP announced that the curre…
Concertgoers stunned as rock band returns to stage following curtain call and resumes playing
CLEVELAND – Following a 2-hour show by indie rock group Afterglow Green, local concertgoers were absolutely dumbfounded as the musicians returned to the stage and played new, additional son…
Texas executes 500th inmate, gets free sub
AUSTIN – The state of Texas passed a milestone last week, executing its 500th inmate since the Supreme Court overturned the ban on capital punishment in 1982, earning the state a free foot-…
Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger tie the knot in France on Canada Day
Rock music couple Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger are now husband and wife, the pair having reportedly married on Canada Day, with a Canada-themed wedding, in the South of France. What’s your say?…
Local dad pretty sure firework should have exploded by now
BRANDON, MB – Seeing as it’s been a good five or ten minutes since he lit his Roman candle, local dad Brook Jensen reports that he’s “almost certain” that the shell …
Canada is a great country vs. Oh shit the beer store is closed today
Point: Canada is a great country By Jane Sayers Another Canada Day is upon us and I just want to take a moment to say how much I appreciate the privilege to live in this great country. This truly…
Canadian Politician Look-alike Poll: Vote for Toronto Mayor Rob Ford and classic James Bond villain Goldfinger
Round 5 of our Canadian Politician look-alike poll matches Toronto Mayor Rob Ford and Auric Goldfinger, the antagonist from the James Bond movie Goldfinger. They both have an affinity for money. …
US middle school makes trip to Toronto, Canada’s capital
ASHTABULA, OH – Ashtabula middle school students left on a field trip to Toronto this morning in an effort to see the northern nation’s capital city. “I’ll tell ya, it’s m…
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