ATHENS – Following a conveniently timed demand that Germany pay further reparations arising from its occupation of Greece during WWII, the Greek government has gone on to demand the government o...
Jurors in Mike Duffy trial each receive mysterious $90,000 cheque
OTTAWA – Before the start of what will be the political trial of the year, the jurors deciding the fate of embattled Senator Mike Duffy have inexplicably all received a cheque for $90,000. ̶...
Man lives in Moose Jaw of his own free will
MOOSE JAW, SK – Sources report that Greg Abbott, 36, recently moved to Moose Jaw as a personal choice, done without any sort of coercion. “I like it here,” said the inventory manager, who mainta...
Leafs platinum ticket holder throws Armani dinner jacket onto ice
TORONTO – After spending thousands of dollars on season tickets and pre-game sushi only to see the Leafs lose again and again, local man and ACC Platinum Club member Winston Scott joined the ran...
Report: Final season of Mad Men may contain spoilers
LOS ANGELES – Matthew Weiner, creator of the popular drama Mad Men, has warned fans of his show that they might want to skip its upcoming final season if they want to avoid any potential spoiler...
Senate announces $2 million national inquiry to investigate cold cases of cheese
OTTAWA – Conservative Senator Nancy Ruth along with dozens of other upper chamber members have announced the Senate’s intention to launch a comprehensive inquiry into the victims of cold cheeses...
Top 10 Saskatchewan hockey rinks to take a piss in
Now that hockey season is starting to come to an end, and spring has almost sprung, it’s time for The Beaverton’s annual review of the best Saskatchewan hockey rinks we pissed in this year...
Stuart McLean takes 45 minutes to vividly describe directions in a small town
WINGHAM, ON – CBC’s Vinyl Cafe host Stuart McLean spent nearly an hour explaining detailed and poetic directions to American tourists on how to get to the local museum in a small Ontario town. “...
Critics divided on final Mad Men season’s jump to 2061
LOS ANGELES – Premiering April 5th on AMC, the normally secretive hit television show Mad Men has angered some critics and fans with leaked news that its final seven episodes will be set in the year 2...
ǝsᴉɹ ǝɥʇ uo sǝᴉɹnɾuᴉ ʞɔǝN :ʎpnʇS
˙ƃuᴉpuǝq ʇuɐʇsuoɔ puɐ uᴉɐɹʇs ǝʌᴉssǝɔxǝ ɯoɹɟ sǝᴉɹnɾuᴉ ʞɔǝu ɟo ɹǝqɯnu ǝɥʇ uᴉ ǝsᴉɹ dɹɐɥs ɐ pǝʇɐɔᴉpuᴉ sɐɥ ʎpnʇs uɐᴉpɐuɐƆ ɹoɾɐɯ ∀ – ɹǝʌnoɔuɐΛ spɹɐʍʞɔɐq puɐ uʍop-ǝpᴉsdn sǝlɔᴉʇɹɐ pɐǝɹ oʇ ƃuᴉʎɹʇ sɐ ɥɔns...
