Tristan Bradley, Author at The Beaverton

Irving lays off province of New Brunswick

SAINT JOHN, N.B. — At a press conference this morning J.D. Irving Ltd. announced that they were going to start “folding up operation” of the bilingual province of 751,171 people. “New Bruns…

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CBC moves in with Dave following cuts

TORONTO – Reeling under cuts, CBC has begun to sell off its real estate holdings and moved into a two bedroom basement apartment with 26 year old recent graduate Dave Mullins. “CBC is proud…

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Girlfriend scientists find 99% of food too spicy

GUELPH, ON – Research done by girlfriend scientists at the University of Guelph has uncovered that nearly all food is far too hot and/or spicy. The study involved the tasting of hundreds of…

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