Montreal Biosphere sold to become oil sands interpretation centre
MONTREAL- Montreal’s famed Biosphere Environment Museum has been sold by the federal government to the Canadian Association of Petroleum Producers to make way for a new oil sands education centre…
Kevin O’Leary completes hostile takeover of children’s lemonade stand
TORONTO – Sources inside O’Leary Funds say that their CEO has successfully gained controlling ownership of Timothy and Caroline Gowan’s lemonade stand in Toronto’s west end. “Now that we control …
Blackberry execs consider taking out the battery and putting it back in
WATERLOO – With market share rapidly diminishing and the latest Blackberry 10 phones not performing as expected, Blackberry President and CEO Thorsten Heins announced that the company was c…
Putin petitions IOC to have rainbow colours removed from Olympic symbol
MOSCOW – Following the passage of a controversial anti-gay bill in Russia, President Vladimir Putin is now attempting to remove all rainbow colours from the Olympic symbol in preparation fo…
Leonard Cohen set to record cover version of Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah
MONTREAL – Leonard Cohen announced today his intention to add his name to the already impressive list of artists who have recorded their take on Leonard Cohen’s seminal 1984 religious…
After giving up mining asbestos, town takes up tobacco farming
Asbestos, PQ – After years of mining asbestos, the small town that bears its name will close its last mine and take up growing tobacco instead. The town had received intense national and internat…
Researchers discover remote Amazonian tribe that still uses Palm Pilots
BRAZIL-COLOMBIAN BORDER – A group of anthropologists has returned from the Amazon rainforest with the shocking news that they have discovered a previously unknown tribe that uses Palm Pilot…
Ezra Levant upset government will not subsidize his rants against government subsidies
TORONTO – Sun News media commentator and conservative activist Ezra Levant is disappointed that his regular editorials against government funding various programs and services will not be s…
Skipping vinyl record becomes accidental dubstep hit
MONTREAL – Electromania at Club Soda has produced the latest number one hit single courtesy of a skipping vinyl record. DJ Dangerzone was mixing last week when ‘Vox Humana’ by Kenny Loggins…
Israel and Palestine ready to begin undermining new round of peace talks
WASHINGTON D.C. – Three years after the previous talks collapsed, the governments of Israel and Palestine will begin a new round of direct talks in the hopes of achieving new and likely ins…
