Saskatoon honours Joni Mitchell with new parking lot
SASKATOON – After years of contemplation on how to pay tribute to an iconic Canadian musician, the City of Saskatoon will honour Joni Mitchell with a 400 space parking lot. The Joni Mitchel…
Google unveils carless driver
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CALIFORNIA – In a move that promises to ravish and dilapidate the transportation industry, technology leviathan Google, Inc. has revealed ‘Walker’: a fully-functional p…
English Canadian unable to explain Quebec to foreign friend
OTTAWA – Shortly after welcoming his friend Jack from Australia into his home, local man Stephen Christie found himself unable to properly satisfy his visitors’ many questions about Quebec …
Slightly too many chicken wings consumed
TORONTO- Disaster struck a local half-price wing night when local “wingthusiast” Lindsey Sarpedelli ordered a second pound of chicken wings and wound up feeling “a little bit bloated and a lot be…
Porn star degrades herself by running for Toronto mayor
TORONTO – Friends and family of adult film star Nikki Benz find themselves at a loss to explain the actress’ baffling decision to debase herself by running in the upcoming Toronto mayoral electio…
City of Montreal ramps up Eurotrash collection for Grand Prix Weekend
MONTREAL — In order to prevent excess pollution to the downtown area, the City of Montreal has ramped up its Eurotrash collection service for the Canadian Grand Prix weekend. “Every year at this …
Misinformed Canadian high school students remember Canada’s sacrifice on Vietnam beach
HALTON – A group of misinformed high school students are commemorating the contributions Canadian soldiers they didn’t actually make on the shores of a beach in Vietnam some seventy years a…
Staunch New Democrat to vote Liberal again
TORONTO – Despite considering himself a strong supporter of the New Democratic Party, local voter Jason Poulos plans to cast his ballot for the Liberals in the upcoming election, as he has …
Local man sits doing nothing while phone charges
HAMILTON, ON – Local man Ian Barslow sat in a chair for 40-minutes doing absolutely nothing while he waited for his iPhone battery to charge, sources at an open house reported yesterday. “H…
