After years as a home of critically-acclaimed television, HBO has begun to air a brass-instrument-themed spinoff of Band of Brothers: a show that critics are calling not only one of HBO’s, but one of ...
Liberals caught transporting planes full of mannequins to meet refugee intake targets
OTTAWA – In a stunning scandal which has caught the eye of people from all sides of the political spectrum, 12 recently landed planes supposedly carrying Syrian refugees have been revealed to be popul...
Frustrated novelist struggling to write scene where main character opens pickle jar
TORONTO – Writer Alice Nguyen has found herself completely unable to complete a pivotal moment in her novel in which her main character, Michael, opens a pickle jar. “I just can’t find his motiv...
Hard hitting journalist wins ninth consecutive title fight
OTTAWA, ON – For the ninth year in row, featured correspondent for the Ottawa Citizen David Suplin has defended his title has National Journalist Fighting Lightweight champion. Suplin, known for...
Man late to conversation wants to know what you guys are talking about
TORONTO – Recent studies have shown that local man Derek Waverly, who arrived late to your conversation at the office holiday party, is nonetheless interested in knowing what you guys are discus...
City boy ain’t got the guts
THE PRAIRIES – Although he came in faking like he was hot shit, eyewitnesses at Scraggly Dan’s Saloon are reporting that this namby-pamby, suit-and-tie man don’t know what he’s getting himself i...
Biological father, stepfather both show up to house wearing Santa costumes
CALGARY – Joshua Hughes, 7, suffered a mild Christmas trauma today when William Hughes, his biological father, burst into the family home in a Santa costume when stepfather James Cohen was alrea...
CBC sends Justin Trudeau holiday gift basket complete with artisanal CBC donation box
OTTAWA – In the spirit of the season, Prime Minister Trudeau has received a gift basket from the CBC filled with shortbread cookies, dried fruits, and a beautifully hand-carved donation box. ...
My parents spanked me and I turned out to be a perfectly fine child abuser
BY: LACEY EMMANUEL Growing up as a child, my parents were assertive in their discipline and used various types of force when my siblings and I got out of line. Without this type of necessary punishmen...
Gun rights to play important role at this year’s Teddy Bear Picnic
Woods, Forest – The annual gathering of Teddy Bears for a picnic and all around gay time, has been met with controversy this year, due to Teddy Bear gun rights activists wanting to bring their a...
