KENSINGTON, PEI – A recent investigation into a well-publicised UFO sighting off the coast of Prince Edward Island has confirmed it was just a potato that someone chucked a pretty good distance....
CBC courts younger viewers with yet another adaptation of 100 year old novel
TORONTO – In a bold programming move sure to excite millions of young Canadians, the Canadian Broadcasting Company has announced that they will reboot the early 20th century literary classic Ann...
Obama begins State of the Union address with 58-minute sigh
WASHINGTON – Speaking to congress about what shape the country is in and what his plans are for the coming year, President Obama spent the first fifty-eight minutes of last night’s address hunch...
Canada pledges $1 million to Kevin O’Leary if he will go away forever
OTTAWA — Citing concerns over reality show star and financial commentator’s impact on the value of Canadian public discourse, democratic process, and journalistic integrity, Canada is offering Kevin O...
Obama reportedly wearing beautiful sequin green dress to final State of the Union address
WASHINGTON DC — For his final State of the Union address, US President Barack Obama is reportedly wearing a stunning sequin green dress. Obama, who is expected to comment on such complicated mat...
PK Subban fined for swearing only in English
MONTREAL — If things couldn’t get any worse for Habs defenceman P.K. Subban, the 2013 Norris Trophy winner learned that he will be fined $50 by the Office québécois de la langue française by cur...
Saskatchewan now world’s top exporter of vastness
SASKATOON – Following successful advertising blitzes in key markets like New York, Beijing, and Mexico City, the Canadian prairie province has eked out the competition to become the world’s larg...
Leafs to start goalie tarp next game
TORONTO – In the wake of Jonathan Bernier’s blowout loss to the San Jose Sharks the Toronto Maple Leafs have announced that their starting goalie for Wednesday’s game against Columbus will be a ...
Bridge failure gives father, son extra time to sit silently in car on week long roadtrip
NIPIGON RIVER, ON — Thirteen-year-old Jacob Darville and his father, Gordon Darville, were condemned to an additional two days of excruciating silence, Sunday, after a key section of their cross...
El Chapo chooses life in jail over five more minutes with Sean Penn
VICTORIA DE DURANGO, MEX. — Fugitive drug kingpin Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman ended his six-month run from the law this week, when he surrendered himself to Mexican authorities on condition that h...
