Premiers wonder how many Charter violations they can sneak in while everyone is focused on Israel-Palestine
OTTAWA – The nation’s Provincial Premiers are hoping to use this moment of international strife and calamity to work in a few more Charter violations using The Notwithstanding Clause while …
Nation’s cyclists mortified after learning that stop signs and red lights apply to them too
OTTAWA – Cyclists across the country expressed their deepest apologies today after learning that they weren’t actually allowed to run every red light and stop sign they come across. &…
Spineless fence-sitter thinks killing children is bad no matter who does it
MONTREAL – Local man Morgan Powell has been accused of both “ignoring the plight of Palestinians” and “hating the only democracy in the Middle East” for his controve…
Upscale cookbook assumes you can afford food
VANCOUVER — Celebrity chef Walton Fisch is facing widespread criticism for his latest cookbook, Fresh Fisch, which assumes its readers can afford to buy food. Virtually every recipe in the book c…
Report: Hot person’s soulmate also hot
VICTORIA, BC – In a completely unexpected turn of events, local heartthrob and solid 9.5, Mark Steele, has reportedly discovered his soulmate who, in a jaw-dropping twist of fate, is also s…
CRTC to regulate podcasts as soon as they figure out what a podcast is
OTTAWA – Hot on the heels of Bill C-18’s regulation of news on social media platforms, the CRTC announced a follow-up plan to regulate podcasts as soon as they figure out what a podca…
Manitoba PCs shocked their ‘imply everyone in the province is a secret bigot’ strategy didn’t work out
WINNIPEG – After losing to Wab Kinew and the NDP, Manitoba Progressive Conservative insiders have expressed shock that their last minute campaign encouraging voters to let their bigot flag …
Greg Fergus immediately cancels all upcoming events honouring former Nazis
OTTAWA – Newly-elected Speaker of the House Greg Fergus has moved quickly to correct the errors made by his predecessor by taking the brave step of immediately canceling all planned events in whi…
Blue Jays admit the only reason they made playoffs was so bigger audience could experience frustration of watching them
MINNESOTA – After a 3-1 loss to the Twins to start their 2023 Playoff campaign, members of the Toronto Blue Jays have come forward and acknowledged that they only worked hard enough to make…
In event of cabin pressure change, air Canada instructs passengers to secure own mask before 360 roundhouse kicking the person next to them
THE SKY – Air Canada has recently released an update to their on-board safety procedures where, in the event of a cabin pressure change, they’re now instructing passengers to 360 roundhouse…
