Twitter changes format to six pages double-spaced with MLA citations
SAN FRANCISCO — Twitter announced today that it will be replacing the 140 character limit on tweets with a six page, double spaced format in 12 point Times New Roman font and using MLA styl…
Yeah, but Saudi Arabia’s money never executed anyone
By: Stéphane Dion, Minister of Foreign Affairs Okay, at first glance, I’ll admit, this looks bad. Like, really, really, super crazy bad. I mean, how could I, Stephane Dion, Canada’s Foreign Affai…
Bieber continues to rebrand with 700-page treatise on postcolonial theory
As part of the ongoing rehabilitation of his image as a person and performer, Justin Bieber has written and published a monumental new work describing and suggesting remedies for the residual eff…
Yukon sues Bombardier over faulty dog-sled mass transit system
WHITEHORSE – Following a series of failures, months of delays and technical problems, the city of Whitehorse is suing Bombardier over its new dogsled-based public transit system. Transportation M…
Richard Dawkins insists his empty birthday party just proof God does not exist
LONDON – Seated alone in a TGI Fridays Bar and Grill, at an extra-large table which he himself reserved, Richard Dawkins smugly asserted that this sad tableau never would have been allowed …
Camera-savvy friend explains every goddamn button
VANCOUVER – After having expressed mild excitement about the purchase of a new camera to a friend who once took a photography course, local woman Tiffany Tsu has been forced to endure a tut…
NRA demands tougher regulations on presidential tears
WASHINGTON DC – Following a press conference where President Obama was moved to tears while discussing recent horrific mass shootings, the National Rifle Association has demanded that Congr…
Here’s how I would have ruined The Force Awakens
BY: GEORGE LUCAS Over the decades, fans have come to expect a certain standard from me; now as the torch is passed on to a new generation of fans (and filmmakers), it’s disappointing to see funda…
Every major news outlet asking why rest of media hasn’t called Oregon militia ‘terrorists’
TORONTO – The Toronto Star has become the 27th newspaper to run an op-ed accusing the rest of the North American newsmedia of refusing to label the Oregon occupiers as ‘insurgents,…
TTC uses fare hike to fund new service outage announcement system
TORONTO – In a press conference yesterday, the Toronto Transit Commission announced that thanks to funds raised by recently announced fare hikes, the transit system would be launching a bra…
